


We Met In Dreams

by jaera



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2park, Again, College!AU, Deephwi, I Love You All, I Tried, I tried my best, M/M, Multi, Soulmates, THIS IS NOT ANGST, another addition to the jinhwi tag, give me more jinhwi, jinhwi, my love for jinhwi is overflowing, not angst... maybe, pink sausages, platonic winkdeep, please no bashing, soulmate!AU, there's so little jinhwi fic it makes me cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-01-17 15:57:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 30,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12369126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaera/pseuds/jaera
Summary: Jinyoung keeps on denying his feelings for Daehwi, whereas his emotions keep on betraying him.





	1. Daehwi

**Author's Note:**

> I SUCK AT MAKING SUMMARIES I KNOW  
> So I have been dying to read soulmate!au fics however there are so few here on AO3 that it makes me cry.  
> And my undying love for Jinhwi is going stronger each day, so I decided to create this fic.  
> (Although this won't focus much on the soulmate part)  
> Lately, I've been on LSS with 'When Night Falls' by Eddy Kim (from While you were sleeping OST) and that song inspired me for this plot.  
> so let's just say that it's the theme song for this fic.  
> This'll just be short, having most likely 7/8 chapters so I hope everybody will like it.  
> Ciao.

It was suffocating, staying inside the room with white reigning the theme and digital beeping sounds making up for the unbearable silence. It had already been a year and there’s still no sign of life showing.

_I’ll wait here forever. I’ll wait for you until it ends._

He could only pray, hoping that this torture will be over and everything will be back to normal. Normal where his smile was bright, normal where his eyes were shining. Normal where the two them held each other, warmth and contentment filling their hearts.

And as if the almighty heard his prayers, something moved. Something changed.

Right in front of him, the deep dark orbs he had been longing to see finally appeared. The deep, coarse voice he had been longing to hear had finally came back.

But instead of being delighted, instead of being rid of all the pain and hurting he had been feeling all this time, it only heightened.

“Who… who are you?”

The world stopped. Everything became null.

At that moment, his heart had lost its life.

 

 

 

“0…8…0…7…” Daehwi whispered before pressing the pound sign. In no time, the digital lock finally beeped, signaling that the door has been opened. A big smile appeared on his face, excited to see the place behind the door. “Finally—“

“Can you stop babbling and just hurry inside? I want to go back to sleep.”

Rolling his eyes, Daehwi stepped to the side to let the red headed male inside who in turn, immediately jumped to his bed on the left side of the room. “Seriously, you’re no fun as usual, Woojin-hyung.”

Nodding in agreement, the tall, lanky boy behind them suddenly overtook Daehwi and followed after Woojin, causing for smallest boy to frown. “Is there even anything surprising about that?”

“You try picking up two brats from the airport at 6 on a Saturday morning.” Woojin retorted from his bed, sticking a tongue out in annoyance. “I really can’t believe that you still have to ask me to do that, you’re not kids anymore. You could’ve just rode a cab or bus.”

“But we missed you already, hyung.” The tall, lanky boy named Guanlin said, putting up a heart with his fingers while taking a seat beside the oldest male’s bed. Woojin made gestures of barfing as Daehwi and Guanlin just laughed. No sooner than later, that countenance changed as he grinned widely. “Anyway, welcome to our room, my dear brothers!”

With big, bright eyes, Daehwi’s mouth opened in awe as he looked around the unit. Baby blue colored walls, dark wooden floors, Navy blue curtains and 3 white bunk beds and desks – everything was so simple yet it made Daehwi feel exhilarated. Living in America for almost his whole life, Daehwi had always dreamed of attending a university in South Korea. Not only because he wanted to be familiar with his own country, but because he also wanted to be independent. Although against the idea of letting him live in a faraway country by himself, Daehwi’s parents eventually gave him the green light once they found out that Guanlin – his childhood friend – will be going as well. Not to mention the fact that the dorm where Woojin – his cousin – was currently staying at has just been vacated, Daehwi had all the reasons to go.

“It’s good enough,” Guanlin nodded his head after scanning the room, all the while moving to one of the two vacant beds. “At least Daehwi would be able to craze around here without us bumping to each other.”

“Yeah…” Daehwi said, almost inaudible as he cautiously walked around, his luggage in tow.

Woojin sat up straight on his bed and looked at his cousin in fascination. “You do realize that Guanlin’s already dissing you, right?”

With his train of thoughts interrupted, Daehwi sat down on the floor – on the carpet – and his luggage in front of him as he smiled at the two. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Hearing this, both Guanlin and Woojin turned to each other before cracking up. “Seriously, what’s up with you? You’ve been so distracted ever since we arrived here.” Guanlin asked.

“I don’t know, it’s just… I feel so excited.” Slouching his shoulders, Daehwi beamed as he and Guanlin started unpacking their luggage. “Aren’t you excited for uni, Linnie? I’m sure it’ll be so much fun!”

Guanlin felt good having to study in a university that specializes their major – performing arts. He felt a tad excited as well, having the liberty to be independent and dorm with his friends. It was nice in all honesty, Guanlin can admit to that, but it wasn’t enough to make him react like the way Daehwi did. The boy was just really always full of energy, getting giddy and happy even with the smallest things.

Staring at Daehwi’s anticipating eyes, he gave out a fake smile before going back to his luggage. “Nope. Not even a bit.”

Woojin chuckled at Daehwi’s crestfallen expression. “Dude, I don’t think there’s anybody except you who would be excited for school.” He then shrugged while pointing to himself. “Just look at me, I’ve been here for a year already and I’ve yet to feel excitement over this whole dorm-uni life.”

This caused Daehwi to pout in disappointment. Was he really the only one excited all this time? Then again, he couldn’t count on Guanlin and Woojin for the two were just so lax about everything. Sure, they might be thrilled but they weren’t like Daehwi who was over the top exhilarated.

“You guys have no jam, really.” Daehwi scoffed. The frown was replaced with a hopeful smile however upon remembering a thought. “Hyung,” he called, gathering the attention of the oldest. “Then can you come with me and Guanlinnie tomorrow? We’ll be getting our term schedules from the registrar’s office.”

“Tomorrow?” Guanlin asked in disbelief. “In case you haven’t noticed, there’s like 2 weeks before classes start.”

“But I want to know our schedules already!” Daehwi whined in response. “What if we don’t have the same classes? Woojin-hyung’s a sophomore already, it’s impossible for us to have the same class! I’ll be all by myself!”

Hearing this, Guanlin and Woojin turned to each other and just sighed. The boy was adorable but at the same time, hopeless.

“I’d _love_ to accompany you lot to the campus,” Woojin started, feigning a smile as he patted his cousin’s head. “But I’ll be helping Jihoon with his revisions. He said he can’t focus without me beside him.”

Guanlin deadpanned. “Wow, how sweet of you to comply with that.”

“Bros before hoes I know, but Jihoon is a man – my man – so technically, I’m not breaking any bro codes here.”

Daehwi just rolled his eyes whereas Guanlin face palmed himself. If Daehwi was hopeless, then Woojin was _way_ more hopeless.

 

 -

 

Raven Black hair, Small pink lips and slight high bridged nose – they were the same features that Daehwi had been dreaming of for a long time now. Almost about twice a week, he would be dreaming of the same person. At first his facial features were blurred and only his somewhat tanned skin was apparent. Actually, his features were always there but Daehwi just can’t seem to distinguish it. It was as if a fog was covering his vision that he can’t put the details together. Daehwi didn’t mind nonetheless, being unable to see his face for nothing happened in his dream. The man, whose face was blurred, would just face him and say nothing until he wakes up.

However as time passed by, the fog faded little by little, letting Daehwi finally see his cherry lips and sharp nose. A lot of times he would imagine how his eyes would look like and every time he would always end up being envious of how small the face of the man seemed to be. Given that Daehwi himself has a small face, the stranger’s seemed even smaller, almost comparable to his hand.

And his assumption was proven right when finally, the stranger’s full face was unveiled. That night when they arrived in Seoul, after organizing all of their things, Daehwi, Guanlin, and Woojin fell asleep almost instantly, dead tired from everything they did. Like always, upon entering his dream land, Daehwi found himself in front of the stranger once more, but it’s as if a strong wind blew through him, the fog that has always been blocking his vision cleared up and their surroundings which had always been dark, had now become brightly lit.

Not wanting to waste any chances, Daehwi immediately stared at the stranger only to render himself being unable to breathe.

_“Daehwi…”_

Deep, dark brown orbs – those were the last thing Daehwi saw before he woke up in agonized pain. He clenched his chest, feeling a burning sensation in the area near his heart. It lasted for a good whole minute before he realized that the pain he felt was gone, as if he never felt it in the first place. The only thing that let him remember the pain was his sweaty self and hitched breathing.

“Daehwi!” Waking up to his low groans, Guanlin shoot up from his bed and although groggily, ran to his friend’s aid. “Daehwi, are you okay? Just stay still, I’ll wake up Woojin-hyung—“ before he can move though, he felt Daehwi’s hand grabbing his wrist.

“I’m fine now, it was probably just a heartburn. I ate too much last night.”

The boy barely ate through dinner as he couldn’t stop from interrogating their Woojin-hyung about his boyfriend, but Guanlin decided to just let it slide. Aside from his worn out look, Daehwi seemed fine already so he deemed that a glass of water would be enough.

“Drink this and rest. You look beat.” Guanlin said, handing the glass to Daehwi who graciously took it before letting his parched throat be comforted. “We need to wake up early tomorrow if you still want to get your schedule.”

Hearing this, Daehwi’s eyes shot up and smiled as he watched Guanlin return to his bed. “Thanks Guanlinnie, good night!”

Disregarding the weird experience that he had, Daehwi laid down again and closed his eyes, hoping for the time to pass by quickly so he can finally get his schedule.

 

-

 

Daehwi was, by all means, excited. Actually, being excited was an understatement. He was exhilarated upon reaching the campus. Just like he expected, the campus was wide, a lot of buildings standing proudly in every corner. Albeit, it didn’t seem dull as other than that, the campus was also covered with a lot of greeneries, providing a cool and fresh atmosphere.

“You can fantasize about your uni life later.” Guanlin snapped Daehwi out of his thoughts as the former dragged him to the first building on the right where the registrar’s office was. “We’ll get our schedules first. They’re going to close in 30 minutes – unless you don’t want to see your schedule anymore—“

“I totally forgot about that!” Daehwi gasped, remembering Woojin’s words.

_“Offices are opened for just half a day until next week.”_

“Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go!”

If only he didn’t have a strange episode last night then Daehwi wouldn’t have woken up late. It was already 10:30 when he and Guanlin woke up, much to his dismay. Then again, he wasn’t vexed about it. After who knows how long, Daehwi was finally able to see the stranger’s face in his dream. It was only for a heartbeat but his face managed to stay in Daehwi’s mind.

_And I don’t regret ever seeing it._

“Here are your schedules for this coming semester. Please check if all of your information are correct. If there’s nothing wrong, then we’ll be closing now.” The lady behind the registrar said before shutting the window shut, leaving both Daehwi and Guanlin stunned.

Disregarding what just happened, Daehwi looked at Guanlin with wide eyes, the paper in his hands crumpled. “Linnie, I’m scared of what we’re about to see…” Receiving a deadpanned look from Guanlin, Daehwi pouted in frustration. “I’m just nervous, okay? Can you just look at it for me?”

“Do I have any other choice?”

Upon receiving Daehwi’s schedule, Guanlin scanned both papers for a whole minute before turning to the former with a smile. Seeing this, Daehwi gasped. “Oh my gosh, don’t tell me we have the same schedule?!”

“Unfortunately, no.” Guanlin blurted out, causing for Daehwi’s face to fall. “We don’t share any subjects, not even one.”

Daehwi’s shoulder quickly deflated whereas his face contorted, as if coming close to breaking down. Guanlin also wanted to have the same schedule as Daehwi since it would be so much easier for him to take classes. Not only would he have a translator (even though he knew Korean, he still had so much to learn), but classes would surely be a tad less boring with his best friend. However, there was nothing they could do. It seemed that in the university, they assign schedules randomly so even if they enrolled at the same time, the chances of them having the same schedules were still low.

“Come on, I’ll just treat you to lunch.” Guanlin said, dragging Daehwi towards the entrance of dorm 11 – their dorm which was just a block from the registrar’s building. “But can we drop by the dorms first? I forgot to bring my bag since we were in a hurry this morning.”

Daehwi only nodded in response, the disappointment very apparent in his face.

“Daehwi, stop being so dramatic. It’s not like we’re not going to see each other anymore and besides,” Guanlin sighed. “I thought you wanted to be independent?”

“But this and that are two entirely different things!” Daehwi huffed, earning him an exasperated sigh from Guanlin.

It was true that Daehwi wanted to be independent, but living independently was different from taking classes by himself. He barely knew anybody in the area, and even though he can make friends rather easily (since everybody adores him despite being so finicky and dramatic, according to Guanlin and Woojin) it still made Daehwi anxious. He already daydreamed about his university life with his friends, the adventures and episodes that they will be going through, but that all came crashing down because of the piece of paper in Guanlin’s hands.

Finally arriving in dorm 11, Daehwi snatched his schedule from Guanlin. “Maybe I should just throw this trash away—“ However, a gush of wind suddenly came in through the dorm’s entrance, causing for the piece of paper to fly away from Daehwi’s grasp.

“Just stop bitching on the poor piece of paper and accept reality.” Guanlin chuckled, watching as Daehwi ran towards the end of the hallway helplessly, right in front of the door across from theirs, where the paper landed.

“This piece of trash is seriously giving me stress.” Daehwi snapped in annoyance, grabbing the piece of paper from the floor.

Just as he was about to stand up however, the door across from their unit suddenly opened, catching his full attention. At that exact moment, Daehwi had his breathing hitched like how it did in his dream. His heart pounded in his chest harshly, as if it was going to burst at any moment. It was very much the same as how he felt the night before except this time, there was no pain. He didn’t feel any burning sensation in his chest. Instead, he felt light; he felt serene. Daehwi felt as if his body had become enveloped in clouds that he felt comfort despite the uncontrollable beating of his heart.  

And it was as if time had stopped that he couldn’t move nor speak, unable to realize himself what he was feeling. Daehwi could only stare in awe, caught in a trance upon catching sight of the tall, tanned male in front of him.

Raven Black hair, small pink lips, slight high bridged nose, and deep, dark orbs – it was the same man that he always saw in his dreams.

“Who… who are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL CHAPTERS ARE UNBETAED!  
> English is not my first language so you will most likely see a LOT of tense and grammar mistakes.  
> Please forgive me for those.  
> If you liked this story, thank you!  
> If you don't, it's fine ^^;;
> 
> Rant and shout at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MeongJinHwi)  
> 


	2. Jinyoung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update! Muaha!  
> I feel like it's better to read the first 2 chapters first while waiting for the rest since the soulmate bond is explained here.  
> Their soulmate bond isn't too supernatural and fancy as I tried to make it as realistic as possible since I feel like this is actually true with real life lovers mehuheuhee
> 
> Enjoy!

“Seriously, Jinyoung,” Jihoon called, staring in frustration at the tall tanned male walking back and forth in front of him. “Can you please just stay still even for a moment?”

Putting up a small smile, Jinyoung sat down on his bed across Jihoon’s. “Sorry, Jihoon, I just feel so restless.”

“You excited for school that much? It’s okay, my friend. No need to be shy—“ Jihoon teased, barely avoiding the pillow that his friend threw. “I’m just not used to you being all giddy like this.

“I’m not giddy...” Jinyoung muttered, knowing for a fact that he was just denying it.

2 weeks prior to the start of the first semester, Jinyoung came back to the university dorms. Although contrary to the dark and depressed atmosphere that usually surrounded him, Jinyoung greeted his roommate, Jihoon, with a 100-watt smile – one that managed to send chills down the male’s spine. If you ask Jinyoung the reason for his sudden change of character, he himself would not be able to answer. Even he couldn’t help but wonder why, almost all of a sudden, he felt so excited. He didn’t want to admit that he was, but his emotions were just too hard to ignore. Waking up that morning, he didn’t feel annoyed; eating simple breakfast and lunch, he felt contented. Everything that he did or see that day made him feel curiously bubbly.

It was weird. But then again, everything about him became weird ever since _that_ day.

“ _Sure_ , whatever you say.” Jihoon mocked, closing the comic book he was holding before turning all his attention to his roommate. “It’s a good thing though, at least you’re seeming much livelier now ever since you came back from _that_ long break…” He then raised an eyebrow in query, “But I thought you were going to come back here next week? What’s with the sudden change of plans?”

_I don’t want to see Mrs. Bae any longer…_

Plopping himself on the comfort of his pillows, Jinyoung closed his eyes, trying to forget the image of the woman in his mind. “I just wanted to get settled in as soon as possible.” he answered, his voice muffled by the pillow he was hugging. “It’ll be hard being a freshman by myself.”

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad.” Jihoon said with a reassuring smile as he got his phone. “Woojin and I won’t leave you, and I don’t break promises.”

“So you’ll come with me to the registrar’s office tomorrow to get my schedule?” Jinyoung asked, putting on a hopeful expression as he watched Jihoon fiddle with his phone.

“Classes won’t start in 2 weeks, Bae Jinyoung, in case you weren’t aware.” Jihoon said, ignoring the betrayed look that Jinyoung was giving him. His boyfriend, Woojin, just texted him and nobody – not even Jinyoung – can come before the said male. “And no, for the nth time, I won’t. Woojin and I need to do some revisions.”

Jinyoung groaned, seeing the hearts that were practically oozing out of his roommate’s eyes. “And you just said that you don’t break promises yet you just broke the bro code—“

“Woojin’s also our bro so I’m not breaking anything here, okay?”

Jinyoung could only sigh in response as he finally turned to his back and tried to sleep, refusing to see how whipped his roommate was for his boyfriend.

It was hard, drowning out the annoying giggles of Jihoon. It took Jinyoung almost all of his willpower just to stop his hand from smacking the male hard with his pillows. But no sooner than later did he notice that his roommate had finally started snoring, his cellphone safely tucked in his hands.

 _Really whipped._ Jinyoung chuckled, catching sight of the male but the amusement was short lived for he too, had finally dozed off shortly afterwards.

And just like the nights before, the same eyeless face came up to his sight. Wide thin lips and small but sharp nose – the facets of the chestnut headed boy he had always been seeing in his dreams. Jinyoung had already gotten used it, coming in face to face with the eyeless boy, coming to a point where he began to feel comfort in his presence. At first it seemed creepy as his whole face seemed to be covered in clouds, but as time passed by, his facial features slowly appeared, letting Jinyoung take pleasure in seeing the small smile playing on his lips.

The boy never spoke. He only smiled in the dark, resembling the moon that brightens up the night sky. And that gentle smile roused a small desire inside of Jinyoung to see how the boy actually looked like. Jinyoung wasn’t good with imaginations, but he believed that no matter what the boy’s eyes looked like, he would still find him beautiful.

Amidst the uncertainties of his life, there was still one being who could make him feel positive.

_“Jinyoung…”_

Albeit, that peace was suddenly interrupted when the last piece of cloud blocking his vision finally vanished and a pair of big bright, glistening eyes appeared before him.

A second later, before he can even react, his breathing fastened and his eyes shot open. The excruciating pain in his chest made him scream after, waking his roommate, Jihoon.

“Jinyoung! Are you okay?!” Jihoon ran to Jinyoung, holding him gently in fear of worsening the pain that the boy was feeling. Having no response, Jihoon panicked and was about to call 119* when he heard Jinyoung’s small voice.

“I-I’m fine,” Jinyoung croaked as Jihoon helped him sit up slowly. After a few minutes, he regained his composure, the pain in his chest disappearing like it was nothing.

“What the hell was that all about?” Jihoon asked, handing his friend a bottled water before sitting down on his bed. “You scared the shit out of me, man.”

Taking a swig out of the bottled water, Jinyoung slid a hand through his sweaty hair as he tried to remember what he saw. “I don’t know either.” he muttered, utterly confused. “I just had my usual dream – the smiling boy…”

Hearing this, Jihoon’s ears perked up. “Boy?” he asked with a raised brow. “You’ve been dreaming of a boy?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened in surprise. He never intended to tell anybody about his recurring dreams. On the contrary, Jihoon wasn’t just anybody – he was Jinyoung’s best friend.

Seeing as there was no harm in doing so, Jinyoung decided to share his experience to Jihoon. “Meeting that boy was the first dream that I can remember after waking up _that_ day. The dream didn’t happen every night, probably like twice to thrice a week… but it had been happening a lot more lately – the last one was the one I just had.” he explained, Jihoon’s full attention on him. “I couldn’t see his face at first since it was blurry, but as time passed I was able to see his lips, his nose, his ears and then just now, his eyes.”

“Do you remember if you’ve seen him before?”

Jinyoung shook his head.

“But do you remember what he looked like?”

Jinyoung pressed his lips, the image of the boy vivid in his mind. “It was only for a brief moment, but yes, I remember his face.”

_And he was beautiful._

Jihoon covered his mouth dramatically, a proud smile very visible on his face as he finally put the pieces together. “Jinyoung…”

“What?”

“You just found your soulmate.”

Silence engulfed the atmosphere as Jinyoung waited for Jihoon to say ‘just kidding!’, but a few minutes already passed and the smile on his roommate’s face still didn’t falter.

“Soulmate?”

Jihoon nodded excitedly.

“You’re saying that soulmates exist?”

Jihoon nodded again.

“And I have a soulmate?”

The male nodded once more.

“Do you have a soulmate?”

Hearing Jinyoung’s question, Jihoon’s face brightened in utter delight. “Yes, and it’s Woojin!”

“I didn’t know that you were mentally unstable.”

In a flick of an eye did Jihoon’s pillow landed on Jinyoung’s face. “You idiot! It’s true!” Jihoon snapped. “Woojin and I are soulmates!”

Returning his pillow with a scowl, Jinyoung rubbed his cheeks disapprovingly. “Jihoon, I know you’d die for Woojin and all but seriously? Soulmates? You’re getting delusional.”

“It might be hard to believe since only a few people are aware of it and most people regard it as myth, but it’s true. Soulmates are real!” Jihoon declared, crossing his arms in a strict manner. “Only a few people get to experience the signs and know who their soulmate really is, that’s why you should consider yourself as lucky!”

“Really now?” Jinyoung mocked, only irritating Jihoon more. “And how come we both get to experience it? Are we like the ‘chosen’ ones?”

“Yeah, maybe we really are!” Jihoon was already screaming. “Just be grateful that you even know who your soulmate is since you won’t end up wasting your time on the wrong person and live in despair for the rest of your life just like almost half of the population in the entire world!”

Jinyoung was flabbergasted. Jihoon rarely gets mad and seeing him so riled up at that moment made him start to believe in the male’s words. “Jihoon, calm down. I’m sorry if I offended you, it’s just… this is kind of hard to believe.” Jinyoung said softly, successfully pacifying his friend. “Surely, you must understand what I’m trying to say, right?”

Jihoon loosened his arms and breathed heavily. “Sorry for shouting too but hearing you take this lightly pissed me off. I was just excited for you, Jinyoung.” Jihoon explained. “I was excited since he might be the one that you really needed to heal…”

Jinyoung gritted his teeth. This wasn’t the conversation that he wanted.

“So how did you know about it…” Jinyoung trailed off, trying to divert Jihoon’s focus. “How did you know about soulmates?”

Deeming that Jinyoung was finally beginning to believe him, Jihoon broke out into a grin as he clapped his hands. “So while doing my psychology homework last year, I came across this book that explained about soulmates. Apparently, it doesn’t happen to everybody ‘cause nature has to keep things balanced like yin and yang or something.” he waved his hand for effect, before continuing. “But when you do meet your soulmate, you’ll realize that all this time you were missing half of your whole being. I avoided Woojin at first, since I was kind of creeped out by the whole idea and like you I didn’t believe that soulmates are real. But the more I try to ignore it, the harder it became for me since soulmates share a special bond.”

“What do you mean?” Jinyoung asked.

“All emotions are literally shared. If Woojin’s happy, I also feel happy. If I’m sad, Woojin will feel it too, even for no logical reason. And the whole time that I avoided Woojin, I cried every night even while I was actually watching 1 night and 2 days, only to find out from him that it was because he was crying too. I really thought I was going mental—“ Jihoon gasped shortly, finally realizing the strange behavior of his friend. “That explains it! I thought it was really strange but it was because of that! Your soulmate must be excited yesterday that’s why you’ve been so giddy the whole day!”

At this point, Jinyoung began to wonder why he even bothered asking his friend. If anybody heard their conversation, they would think that the two had gone crazy. He wanted to mock Jihoon, but seeing his genuine smile, Jinyoung couldn’t do anything but listen.

“Anyway, I don’t know when it exactly starts but I do know that at some point in your life, you’ll start dreaming of the same person repeatedly - just like what’s happening to you and what happened to me and Woojin.” Jihoon clarified. “It’s like a countdown, you won’t see that person’s face at first, but the clouds will slowly disappear in time with the moment of your actual meeting. When you finally see that person’s face, your heart will burn as if it’s going to burst. That’s the signal.” Jihoon grinned, eyes sparkling in anticipation. “That means that you’ll meet him or her – in your case, him – real soon!”

Jinyoung really thought that everything that Jihoon said was purely absurd. Emotions? Bond? Soulmates? Now he understood why his roommate failed his psychology subject. The idea was just so ridiculous that it hurt Jinyoung to think that his best friend might possibly have a few loose screws.

Nevertheless, he ended up reconsidering his judgment when the next day, the same face he had always been dreaming of suddenly appeared in front of his doorstep. Chestnut Brown hair, wide, thin lips, small but sharp nose, and big bright, sparkling eyes – Jinyoung’s heart throbbed, his breathing fastened as he noticed his whole world coming to a blur, leaving only the person in front of him vivid in his eyes.

In front of him was the face that had been etched in his mind since forever. In front of him stood the most beautiful person he had always been longing to see.

“Who… who are you?” Jinyoung managed to ask, falling deeply into the pair of eyes in front of him.

The chestnut brown headed boy opened his mouth to speak, but before he can even answer, a tall lanky man popped out from behind him, gathering the attention of Jinyoung.

Hearing the commotion, Jihoon and his boyfriend, Woojin, came up to Jinyoung’s side. Seeing the visitors, Jihoon broke out into a smile as he recognized them. “Daehwi, Guanlin, long time no see!”

“Hyung, we just facetimed the other day, how is that long?” The lanky boy asked, his Korean sounding broken. Jihoon only snorted in response as he continued. “Daehwi and I are going out for lunch. Want to come with?”

_So his name is Daehwi…_

Jinyoung continued to stare at the small boy who, also subtly (but not really), did the same. Their small interaction wasn’t missed and Woojin finally spoke. “Oh sorry, Jinyoung, I didn’t get the chance to introduce them to you yesterday.” Placing an arm on the _beautiful_ boy’s shoulder, Woojin grinned at the two of them. “This is Lee Daehwi, my cousin, and the tall boy with him is Lai Guanlin, his best friend. They’re going to attend our university with the same course as us.”

“You’ll be seeing them a lot from now on since their room is just across ours. Their rooming with Woojin.” Jihoon added before placing a hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder. “And this deep, dark but really cute guy is Bae Jinyoung. You might even be classmates since he’s repeating freshmen year—“

Before Jihoon can finish his sentence however, Jinyoung immediately dashed out of the doorway, speed walking out of the dorm. He breathed heavily, his mind puddled with a plethora of thoughts.

 _Why was he there? Where did he come from? Why the hell did that boy from my dreams suddenly appear?_ Jinyoung felt like going crazy. He couldn’t believe that Jihoon’s words were true, that he really was going to meet the person that had been repeatedly appearing in his dreams.

And he couldn’t deny that the moment their eyes met, his heart couldn’t have been more delighted. Jinyoung felt as if a blast of energy suddenly rushed through him, giving back life to his almost dying soul. Every fiber of his body screamed for him to take the boy, to hold him dearly in his arms and never let go.

He was the one Jinyoung was missing; Daehwi was the one who would let him _remember_.

The boy was an angel incarnate, radiating light everywhere he went. And Jinyoung wasn’t the only one who was drawn to his radiance; almost everyone that he came in contact with wouldn’t leave without even showing a single sign of a smile. He knew for his eyes were always on him even when he never intended to do so. Without any warning, fate had just suddenly decided to play with Jinyoung and put him and Daehwi in the same schedule for the whole semester. He didn’t want to admit it, but a part of him felt alive whenever he saw the boy and his eyes eventually never left him. Even his mannerisms were imprinted in Jinyoung’s mind. How he scratches the part of his neck where his small mole was whenever he was agitated, how his eyes crinkle and sparkle like stars whenever he smiles, and how his lips trembled, voice becoming like honey to Jinyoung’s ears whenever he laughs.  

Every single day, Jinyoung watched him, and no sooner than later did he realize that he had already fallen. It was crazy for he barely knew anything about the boy and he never did believe in love at first sight. But he couldn’t deny it. Just seeing Daehwi made his heart burst, overflowing with various emotions, made his monochrome soul full of color, made his being feel alive again.

Although the idea that they get to be in the same area for a whole 8 hours every day didn’t make things better. It only made it harder for Jinyoung to deny his feelings. He tried at first, but it only caused Jinyoung to feel utter despair, much more so than the time before he even met him. Turns out that Jihoon’s words were true, that he would be in agony for as long as he tried to ignore the bond that he and Daehwi share.

Because of that, Jinyoung realized that Daehwi must also be suffering like how he was doing, that he must also be tormented with them being away from each other – if they really were fated to be together. Sure, the boy was still smiling, but it wasn’t sincere. The sparkle resembling that of a star’s wasn’t there. It wasn’t the same smile that he saw in his dreams. A couple of times, he wanted to just drop his act and be true to himself. He wanted to see his real smile again; Jinyoung wanted for Daehwi to be genuinely happy again. But he also knew better than to let the boy into his life. By letting Daehwi in, he would only be tainted with the darkness that Jinyoung was living in.

So he decided to take comfort in just seeing him from afar. For the whole semester, Jinyoung managed to avoid Daehwi with utmost effort, but not without letting himself be graced with the boy’s dainty presence. He would always sit behind him in class so he can look at him, maintaining a good 2 meters in proximity. By doing this, he felt his heart be calmed even for just a moment. By doing such petty acts, he would be able to lessen the anxiety brewing in his, or rather _their_ , hearts.

He diligently watched the boy, wanting to remember every detail about him in fear that one day he’ll forget. But he knew that he would never do it. Jinyoung believed that he would never forget Daehwi.

“Are you coming back home tonight, son? Tonight is your dad’s…” Jinyoung trailed off, heaving a sigh as he watched Daehwi scratch his neck, obviously frustrated with his exam paper.

Daehwi’s gesture made Jinyoung smile, but it was only momentarily as his focus went back to his phone.

_I just finished my term exams, Mrs. Bae. I’ll be going there now._

Jinyoung typed in his phone behind the desk secretly with his right hand, all the while gathering his things with the other. As soon as he got everything in his bag, he quickly submitted his paper to their professor and left the exam room, all the while missing Daehwi’s hopeful gaze towards him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *119 - South Korea's emergency hotline. Like 911 for USA
> 
> Next update will be next week since I have work and can only write (or type) the rest of the chapters after I got off.  
> Damn adult life is so annoying ( I'm only 22 btw, not that old lovelies ).
> 
> Also, please do try to check out my other JinHwi fic!  
> The title is 'Summer Serendipity' - a revamped version of my Luhan/Oc fic that was originally posted on AFF.  
> It's a slowburn fic and has roughly about 34 chapters lol  
> so yeah.
> 
> And lastly, many thanks for the warm response for the first chapter! You all are such dears!  
> See you next week, lovelies! xoxo


	3. Daehwi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The appearance of the dark knight Jinyoung and the oh so adorable Daehi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update!  
> I just adored Daehwi being all Daehi here Lmao (what am I doing)
> 
> Hope you all like it!  
> Enjoy!
> 
> PS. Doyoung & Sejung's Star Blossom is stuck on my head huhu halp me

Bae Jinyoung.

It was the name of the person that refused to leave Daehwi’s mind. It was also the name of the person who had kept on avoiding him for the past semester. He was Jihoon’s roommate, as well as Woojin’s friend. According to his hyungs, Jinyoung took a 6 month break from university which is why he got left behind by the two and was still a freshman.

Knowing of that, Daehwi became hopeful. He didn’t get the same schedule as Guanlin but luckily, Jinyoung has the same as him. He found it weird when the male suddenly dashed off on their first meeting, but he just ignored it when his hyungs told him that he had somewhere to go that day and was in an urgent rush. Daehwi then decided to just befriend him the next time they meet.

However, talking to him was much harder than he had expected.

Whenever classes end, Jinyoung would always be in a hurry. Whenever Daehwi sees him together with Jihoon and Woojin, before he can even strike a conversation with them, the male would already be at a far distance, as if trying to run away from him as fast as possible. Guanlin, Jihoon and Woojin thought that it was just a coincidence, for there was no reason for Jinyoung to avoid Daehwi. Even Guanlin who had a different schedule had already exchanged numbers with him and even revised with the male a couple of times. At first, Daehwi thought that they were right, that he was just overthinking things, but a whole semester had already passed and not once had he even had a proper conversation with Jinyoung. 

It downright confused him, why Jinyoung was acting like so. Daehwi tried to remember if he had done something to him, however, no matter how hard he tried to think about it, he would still be clueless.

And the way he has been feeling lately wasn’t helping at all.

For the past days, Daehwi had oddly felt horrible. It was weird since he wasn’t usually like so. Sure, he had his bad days, but it wasn’t to an extent that he would be choked up on tears – an act which is now becoming a habit for him. Must it be because he didn’t have the same schedule as Guanlin? But he was still always with him and during the course of the semester, he had made a lot of friends. Must it be because he missed his parents? Then how come he still felt the same when they paid him a visit?

And for some unknown reason, he would only feel a tad better when he sees Jinyoung. Even just at the sight of his back, the whole world seemed to be a bit brighter than ever, as if the heavens had suddenly decided to let him bathe in bliss. His heart would flutter in elation, causing for the anxiety in his mind to disappear. Daehwi couldn’t understand it himself, how the male could such have an effect on him; how he could be so drawn into him.

It was peculiar since he barely knew anything about the male, and had only always watched him from afar.  But before Daehwi can even realize it, he had already fallen for Jinyoung.

Albeit, the fact that ever since meeting Jinyoung in person, he had stopped appearing in Daehwi’s dreams didn’t make things any better. Surely, it must mean something. There must be a reason why he had always dreamt of Jinyoung before. He couldn’t even imagine how it was possible, having to meet him in actual, in flesh, but Daehwi still did and he believed that it was destiny. 

He wanted to see his eyes, to hear his voice, to feel his warmth. Daehwi wanted to know everything about Jinyoung, to revel in his presence without any inhibitions. Each day, his feelings just grew and being unable to talk to him, being unable to be with him, only made him feel worse.

But he couldn’t do anything about it.

Daehwi couldn’t act up on his feelings when the other person involved clearly didn’t want to do anything with him.

“He said something came up at their house so he had to go home early.” Guanlin answered after Daehwi asked him if he had seen Jinyoung. “Didn’t you see him earlier? You had exams together, right?”

Daehwi sighed. Even Guanlin was aware of his schedule. “I did see him but even if I want to ask if he was going to attend the party, I know that he’d just ignore me.”

Hearing this, Guanlin snorted. “Is that the reason why you’ve been so down lately?”

_Maybe yes, maybe no. I actually have no idea._

“Oh come on, Daehwi, you’re really just overreacting.” Guanlin shook his head in dissatisfaction, giving a lettuce wrap to his friend who graciously accepted it. “Everybody’s having fun right now, stop stressing yourself with trivial thoughts.”

“Easy for you to say since you can easily talk to him…” Daehwi muttered under his breath, his voice getting drowned out by the loud clanking of glasses, the sizzling sounds of grilling barbecue and the boisterous laughter of his seniors.

“Cheers to the successful end of exams!”

Since the term exams just ended, the seniors of their performing arts department who were also residents of dorm 11, Jisung, Minhyun, Seongwoo, and Sungwoon, decided to hold a mini celebration party. The idea was well received by everyone so they decided to hold it in a barbecue house in front of their university.  It wasn’t really a party since they just went to a barbecue house to have their feast of meat and soju. It was more of like a celebration dinner but seeing as everybody was shouting and laughing nonstop – uncaring of the other customers around them – it might as well be a party.

“Okay, okay!” Jaehwan, a junior residing at dorm 11 suddenly stood up, gaining the attention of everyone. “Since we weren’t able to give a welcome party for our adorable freshies—“

“They will have to be the sacrifice for the ‘bomb’!” Seongwoo cut Jaehwan off to which the male grumbled. Daniel, another junior, handed Seongwoo the pitcher where the ‘bomb’ was mixed in. The ‘bomb’ was actually just a mixture of Soju and beer but Daniel, Jaehwan, and Seongwoo insisted that they call it the ‘bomb’ (for added swag, they said). It was a tradition in their dorm to let newcomers drink the concoction and nobody’s an exception.

“Do we really have to drink that?” Daehwi asked Woojin, the worry in his face becoming more apparent with each second.

Tapping his shoulder, Woojin smiled smugly as they watch the juniors divide the drink into two glasses – one for Daehwi and one for Guanlin. “At least you even get to share it with Guanlin. When Sungwoon-hyung first moved to our dorm, he had to finish it all by himself.”

“And damn, I swear he looked like a corpse the next day.” Jihoon added.

Hearing this didn’t make things better at all. Daehwi couldn’t really hold his alcohol for his dear life; even just a bottle of beer would render his brain defective. What more for half a liter of mixed soju and beer?

Grabbing his glass, Guanlin stood up from his seat as the rest started shouting and howling. “To dorm 11!” he then started chugging down the drink easily, as if he was only drinking water, earning him endless cheers from their dorm mates. Daehwi wasn’t even surprised anymore. Unlike him, it takes a lot for Guanlin to even get buzzed. It’s not that he was a habitual drinker, but he just naturally had high alcohol tolerance – one trait of which Daehwi didn’t know whether to envy or not.

“Yes, good! Woooo!” the members cheered maniacally as Guanlin wiped his mouth in satisfaction, showcasing his gummy smile. No more than a minute later, all eyes have transitioned to Daehwi as Daniel pushed his share of the drink towards him. “Daehwi! Daehwi! Daehwi!” they chanted.

Right at that moment, Daehwi definitely envied Guanlin and his affinity with alcohol. Daehwi didn’t really want to drink it for he knew what will happen to him if he does, but he didn’t want to be a party pooper as well – _like someone I know._

Taking a deep breath, Daehwi finally grabbed his glass, earning more cheers from his dorm mates. “Here goes nothing—“, just when the glass was an inch away from his lips however, another hand suddenly appeared beside him, snatching the glass away from his grasps.

The dorm members’ faces scrunched up in annoyance as they started jeering. “Bae Jinyoung, seriously?!”

Hearing his name, Daehwi’s heart started speeding up, the butterflies that had become a usual in his stomach coming to life. Turning around, he was met by an already empty glass and the ever so glorious face of the one he loved. _Jinyoung…_

“Dude, what the hell?” Seongwoo asked, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, mirroring the expression of both Daniel, Jaehwan, and Sungwoon. Despite being surprised by his appearance, the rest of the members just chuckled, clearly amused with the sudden turn of events.

“Come on, he was just being a dark knight for our pretty Daehwi,” Minhyun teased, causing for Daehwi’s face to heat up.

“Fine, I get it. Even I can’t resist Daehwi’s charms,” Jaehwan clicked his tongue. “But you just ruined our tradition, my dear friend.”

Putting down the glass on the table, Jinyoung rolled his eyes towards his dorm mate. “Stop being so dramatic, hyung.” He said, walking towards the empty seat at the end of the table.

“But Daehwi was supposed to drink that!”

Having enough of their childishness, Jinyoung snapped. “Can you just stop teasing him? He’s so anxious right now and because of him, I can’t calm down either!”

Daehwi’s eyes widened in surprise. _How the heck did he know?_

Silence ensued as the rest of the members turned to Jinyoung with the same perplexed looks, with the exception of Jihoon and Woojin who looked just as stunned as Daehwi. Realizing what he just said, Jinyoung’s mouth clenched shut as he stared back at Daehwi with an unexplainable expression.

_Calm down, Daehwi. Calm down._

Jihoon’s fake laughter disrupted the still atmosphere as he shot up from his seat, his boyfriend, Woojin, in tow. “Oh my god, why didn’t you wait for us to drink? You must be so drunk right now!” He and Woojin then grabbed each of Jinyoung’s arms and hoisted him up. The male couldn’t even react as he was completely frozen. “Can we excuse ourselves for a bit? We’ll just help our dear friend regain his senses.”

“Hyung, wait—“ Daehwi stood up, about to follow behind the three when Jaehwan shortly grabbed his arms with a sly smile.

“You’re not going anywhere, sweetie!” Jaehwan’s maniac laughter filled the atmosphere as he shoved a shot glass towards Daehwi. The other members just laughed at the drunkenness of their friend, oblivious to their youngest member’s frustration.

Daehwi wanted to get away and follow Jihoon, Jinyoung and Woojin. He wanted to know why the male was there, why all of a sudden he decided to help, why he was aware of Daehwi’s emotions. But before he can even detach his senior from him, the three were already out of sight.

 _Damn it!_ Out of exasperation, Daehwi breathed heavily and downed the glass of soju, earning him a round of cheers from the members.

“Daehwi! Daehwi! Daehwi!”

Daehwi didn’t care anymore about whatever happens to him. He was so frustrated and confused at the moment that he needed as much distraction as he can get, so might as well go along with the party.

 

 

 

 

 

“Daehwi.”

Daehwi’s eyes slowly opened upon hearing his name, only to be greeted by a pair of deep dark orbs.

“Daehwi, come on and get up.” The voice commanded as Daehwi felt his arms being lifted. With utmost effort, Daehwi squinted his eyes, trying to focus his vision on the person in front of him.

_Hyung?_

“Jin…young… h-hyung?” Daehwi muttered, successfully standing up with the man’s help, only to stagger a couple of seconds later. “I… I mean Sun-hehe-Sunbae…” Daehwi slurred, trying to stand up straight but to no avail. “Jinyoung... suuuunbae—“

“Just stay still.”

Despite being utterly dizzy, Daehwi did his best to stay stationary, eyeing the male who was crouching down in front of him. Seconds later he found himself coming into contact with the man’s back, his arms automatically encircling his neck as he felt his legs dangling at his sides. “Sun… where is… sunbae…” Daehwi muttered, lifting his head to check his surroundings. Although he found it to be rather difficult as even moving an inch causes his head to spin.

Oh how much he regretted getting fooled by his seniors’ schemes.

“We’re going home,” The man said. “Just stay still and rest.”

“Hyung… you smell good… citrusy…” Daehwi mumbled, a smile appearing on his lips as he tried to keep his head balanced. Although, all of a sudden, his eyes shot open – an action he regretted a second later. “B-but…we—I need to talk—Jinyoung hyung—sunbae is…” Breathing heavily, Daehwi gave up and rested his head on the man’s shoulder, feeling the cool night breeze on his skin. “We need to go back… Daehi needs to talk to Jinyoung-hyung…”

The man didn’t respond and silence engulfed the atmosphere as only the running cars, the rustling of trees, and the soft sounds of footsteps were heard. Daehwi wanted to go back, he needed to talk to Jinyoung, but his body wasn’t following. His body was too exhausted to move. Not to mention the raging headache that was ensuing in his temples, he felt absolutely terrible.

Why didn’t he follow Jihoon and Woojin earlier when he had the chance? Why didn’t he just ask Jinyoung if he was going to the party? Why did he stop appearing in his dreams? Why did he appear in his life?

_Why does he hate me?_

“We’re here.” Hearing the familiar beeping sound of his room, Daehwi hugged the man tighter.

Having a clear guess of Daehwi’s bed, the man sat down on it with the boy still attached to his back. He was about to unclasp Daehwi’s arms but stopped when he felt the boy shaking his head. “Daehwi…”

“I need… Daehi needs to go back there,” Daehwi muttered in between sniffles. “Daehi needs to go to Jinyoung-hyung.”

Heaving a sigh, the man stayed still, realizing that his shirt was slowly getting damp. “Daehwi, what did you want to tell hyung?” he asked gently. “What did you want to tell Jinyoung-hyung?” hearing no response from the boy, the man held Daehwi’s hands reassuringly. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

Daehwi unknowingly felt comfort in the man’s grip and no sooner than later did he find himself wailing in response.

“Daehi feels so h-horrible! Dehi’s heart hurts so much!” he shouted, resting his head on the back of the man’s neck as his tears poured incessantly. “He used to ignore me th-then… then all of a sudden… he helped Dehi! Why is he confusing Daehi?!” Gripping the man’s hands, Daehwi’s body trembled. “Jinyong-hyung hates Daehwi!”

Hearing this, the man unclasped Daehwi’s hands and turned to his back, staring at the boy’s crying figure.

“Daehwi… hyung doesn’t hate you—“

“He was avoiding Daehi! He refused to… to talk to Daehwi!” Daehwi repeatedly hit the man’s shoulder with his fist, having no clear effect as his energy was already depleting. “I—Daehwi only wants to talk to hyung… Daehi only wants to be with hyung…” he trailed off, the exhaustion slowly overpowering him as he tried to hit the man again.

“Daehi only wants hyung to look at me… I only want Jinyoung-hyung to love me…”

Daehwi’s tears continued to fall as his eyes slowly closed, feeling his body slowly come into contact with the softness of his pillows. “Hyung… Jinyoung-hyung…”

It was then when he felt something caressing his cheeks gently. It was then when he felt something soft and warm pressing on his lips.

Opening his eyes, he tried to clear his vision, but the drowsiness was too much. The last thing he saw was a smile before he heard the door close shut. And not long after, despite the erratic beating of his heart, Daehwi finally fell asleep, the image of the man smiling imprinted in his memory.


	4. Jinyoung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG W1 GO ZERO BASE WILL START NEXT WEEK! I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT AS WELL AS THEIR COMEBACK ALBUM DFASFASGADSGASDF JINYOUNG AND DAEHWI LOOK SO GOOD IN THEIR TEASER IMAGES I CAN'T EVEN--ADFSDFASDFASFDSAFASDFASDFSAFASDFASF /SOBS LIKE AN WOOJIN WHALE/
> 
> I wasn't planning to update tonight (it's already 2:14 am when I posted this) but not even one from my subscribed stories on AO3 updated today and I'm seriously running low on my JinHwicose, so might as well post this now.
> 
> I'm already done with chapter 6, and now I have no idea how to end this.  
> I already have an ending in mind, but there are two so I don't know which one to choose.  
> Well anyway, I hope this isn't as crappy as I thought it is.  
> Have a good weekend, lovelies! Ciao!

“Bae Jinyoung, tell us the truth,” Jihoon blurted, Woojin and him staring intently towards Jinyoung. “What the hell was that all about?”

“Is it what we think it is?” Woojin asked.

Jinyoung ruffled his hair furiously, berating himself internally for having a slip of the tongue. Then again, it was only a matter of time before his closest friends find out. “Yes,” Jinyoung simply answered.

Jihoon and Woojin gasped as they gripped each other’s hands tightly. “No way,” they said in unison, unbelieving of what they just heard. Hearing no response from the male, they erupted in animated squeals. “Oh my pink gosh! Daehwi and Jinyoung…!” Looking at each other, the two jumped up and down, their excitement on the highest degree. “Jinyoung’s going to be a part of the family!”

Jinyoung only stayed silent, his face void of any emotion as he watched his two friends rejoice. Noticing the male’s lack of response, Jihoon and Woojin halted. “What’s wrong? Aren’t you happy that you finally got to meet your soulmate?”

After a moment of thought, Jinyoung answered. “If I’m being honest, I really am happy… Daehwi’s like the sun, shining so brightly and making everything else seem so lackluster. He’s too good to be true; I didn’t think it was possible for a person as beautiful as him to exist...” he held onto his chest, gripping tightly as he spoke. “Every time I see him, I feel alive. I can feel my heart beating in joy, reveling the fact that Daehwi’s real, that he isn’t just a product of my imagination.” He smiled remembering the image of his other half.  “And even if I try to ignore it, even if I try to deny it, my eyes always look for him… my eyes only look for Daehwi...”

“Isn’t that great?” Woojin asked in confusion upon seeing the male’s sad smile. “How come you don’t look so happy?”

“You know that I don’t deserve Daehwi,” Jinyoung said, his face contorting in anguish.

“Jinyoung, what are you—“

“Let me ask you then, Woojin,” Jinyoung said, clenching his fist. “Would you want your cousin to be with someone like me?”

Woojin’s face fell, the excitement long gone as he stared at Jinyoung’s despondent figure.

“Would you want your cousin Daehwi, the sweet and pure Daehwi,” Jinyoung stared at Jihoon and Woojin, his eyes becoming hollow. “To be with a sinner… a murderer like me?”

Woojin stayed silent, the wretchedness of Jinyoung’s face too much for him to bear. Gripping his boyfriend’s hand tightly, Jihoon spoke, “You know that’s not true, Jinyoung—“

“Then what is?” Hearing no response, he laughed falsely. “Isn’t it funny? I, myself, don’t even remember what’s true.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Jinyoung.” Jihoon said, his worried eyes not wavering as he gripped the male’s shoulder. “Nobody ever blamed you, so don’t do it to yourself.”

Jinyoung held onto Jihoon’s hand, gripping it tightly as if holding on to what seemed to be left of his hope. But it was only fleeting as he eventually let go and removed his hand, putting on a barren smile before leaving.

 

-

 

Jinyoung thought that the party wouldn’t end, seeing as the dorm members were still so hyper and alive when he came back. But it wasn’t long before the loud atmosphere turned silent as the 10 members who were partying slowly disappeared, bodies giving in to the after effects of booze and leaving Jinyoung awake all by himself. He decided to leave, uncaring of his members whose bodies were sprawled in all places. However, it was only when he noticed a small chestnut headed figure hunched against the end of the table that Jinyoung stopped in his tracks. Moving the figure’s head, Jinyoung’s heart started racing once again as he froze in place.

_Daehwi…_

It wasn’t in his plan to attend the party in the first place, however he found himself attending anyway. As soon as he got out of the exam room that afternoon, he had become so anxious, his mind not being able to focus on one thing. It was to an extent that he even missed his bus stop and had to hire a cab just to get home. Jinyoung thought that it was only because he was going home, that he was going to meet Mrs. Bae again. However, even after returning back to the dorms, the uneasiness never left him.

Then there was _Lee Daehwi._  

Opening the message that he received from Woojin, his assumption was proven right when he saw a group picture of the dorm members in the barbecue house. Everybody was smiling brightly, obviously having a good time.

He was about to close his phone again, ignoring Woojin’s attempt in making him come when he noticed the two figures hovering behind Daehwi – Ong Seongwoo and Kim Jaehwan with their signature sly and wicked grins. Jinyoung didn’t even have to think twice as he immediately dashed out of the empty dorm and went to the party, knowing very well the reason why he had been feeling uneasy.

And now his mind and heart fought, unable to choose whether to involve himself more than he should have or not. His plan was already getting sidetracked, his resolve dissolving with each passing second that he stared at the sleeping form of the cherubic boy in front of him.

Jinyoung sighed deeply, swearing to himself that this will be the last time.

“Daehwi,” he called, grabbing the boy’s arms.

 _He’s so thin…_ Jinyoung shook his head and slapped his cheeks. It was not the time to be distracted. “Daehwi, come on and get up.”

“Jin…young.. h-hyung?”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened, surprised to hear his name rolling off of Daehwi’s tongue. He didn’t answer however, and continued to support the boy who clearly couldn’t control his body or mind for that matter. The boy was clearly buzzed hard, his words coming out to be almost incomprehensible. _It’s better for him to just think of this as a dream._

“Just stay still.”

And the boy did so to which Jinyoung was thankful for. Carrying Daehwi on his back, Jinyoung kept silent the whole time, his mind trying to focus despite his wavering heart. Talking to him, touching him – everything was already too much for Jinyoung. Not to mention the way he was acting, sniffing Jinyoung’s neck and repeatedly calling his name while unconsciously doing _aegyo_ , Jinyoung’s rationality was in chaos. For a second, he almost contemplated in bringing Daehwi back to his room, to watch him sleep beside him on his bed, uncaring of all the tribulations that was awaiting him. He didn’t even know how he managed to bring the boy back to their dorm room without losing his shit. It was a miracle since for each step that Jinyoung took on the way back, the closer he got to running away from his resolve and just be selfishly in love with Daehwi.

He thought that he was successful, managing to keep himself from doing anything that he might regret later on. But Daehwi refusing to let go of him proved him otherwise.

“Daehwi…” Jinyoung called, his back feeling hot against Daehwi’s embrace.

“I need… Daehi needs to go back there,” Daehwi muttered in between sniffles, his arms tightly encircling Jinyoung’s neck. “Daehi needs to go to Jinyoung-hyung.”

Jinyoung felt his shirt slowly getting damp and at that moment, he felt his heart breaking into pieces. “Daehwi, what did you want to tell hyung?” he asked softly. “What did you want to tell Jinyoung-hyung?" he asked again. Hearing no response from Daehwi, Jinyoung grabbed the boy’s hands and ever so carefully held them. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

After a few minutes of unbearable silence, he finally heard the boy’s broken voice. “Daehi feels so h-horrible! Dehi’s heart hurts so much!” Daehwi finally cried. “He used to ignore me th-then… then all of a sudden… he helped Dehi! Why is he confusing Daehi?!” he then felt the boy gripping his hands, his body quivering. “Jinyong-hyung hates Daehwi!”

Hearing Daehwi’s sobs and seeing his fragile body trembling in pain, Jinyoung felt as if he was bring pricked by a thousand needles, the agony reaching his very core. And knowing the fact that he was the reason behind those cries of sadness, the pain even doubled. “Daehwi… hyung doesn’t hate you—“

“He was avoiding Daehi! He refused to… to talk to Daehwi!”

_I want to talk to you too._

“I—Daehwi only wants to talk to hyung… Daehi only wants to be with hyung…”

_I want to be with you too._

“Daehi only wants hyung to look at me… I only want Jinyoung-hyung to love me…”

_I want to love you more than you can ever imagine._

 “Hyung… Jinyoung-hyung…”

_For the last time._

Jinyoung kissed Daehwi, wiping the tears from his face, holding on to what little hope and dreams he had left, before finally deciding to let go.

Putting on a sad smile, he tucked Daehwi under the comfort of his blanket before hurriedly going out. As soon as he got to his room, he was met by a familiar picture – a picture of him together with his mom and dad, their smiles bright as the dawn breaking in their background.

At that moment, all the suppressed tears finally broke through, his sorrows echoing along the cold, empty night.

Jinyoung wanted to scream, to curse himself for letting everybody around him suffer. Why did he have to live? Why did he have to wake up on _that_ day? If only he died, then Mrs. Bae wouldn’t have to suffer. Their family wouldn’t have disappeared. He hated himself for breathing, for being alive. He was the reason why his family was now long gone and as if it wasn’t enough, he was also the reason why Daehwi was sinking into the same life of torment.

If only he was never born, then Daehwi wouldn’t have met him. If only he never existed, Daehwi wouldn’t experience the pain that comes with falling for a broken person like him. Jinyoung was the only one who should be hurt; he was the only one who should be in pain. Daehwi didn’t deserve to suffer for he didn’t do anything wrong. He never _sinned_.

_The only sin he could possibly ever have is loving me._

Jinyoung wanted to push Daehwi away from the wretched world he was in. He never should’ve been there in the first place. Although it was already too late, he decided that he would end it. Although the two of them have already gotten to a point of no return, Jinyoung would finish everything before it can even begin.

 

-

 

Jinyoung said that he would end it, his feelings for Daehwi.

It was the hardest ordeal that Jinyoung had to go through as far as he can remember. Especially when fate and destiny were opposing him, even going as far as to let him and Daehwi have the same schedule again for the new semester. It was hard not to notice Daehwi, seeing as all he did was stare at Jinyoung for the duration of each class (which was honestly weird since nobody, even the professors, noticed the boy’s sudden change of behavior). And although a part of Jinyoung was delighted in seeing the boy’s face as usual, it only made it harder for him to drop what was left of his irrevocable feelings.

_You’re only making it harder for me let go of you._

It was the last subject for the day – psychology – and Jinyoung was proud of himself for he managed to survive the whole day without ever losing control of himself and taking Daehwi into his arms.

It was a huge feat considering that for the whole day, all he thought of was Daehwi.

He thought he was going crazy, having thought of nothing except him. Much more so when he realized that the boy in specific was right beside him, face at half an arm’s length away from his.

_Jinyoung, stop hallucinating! Get a hold of yourself!_

He deemed that he must be having withdrawal symptoms from thinking of the boy too much. It was impossible, a miracle even, if he were to actually come face to face with the boy.

Then again, with the presence of Daehwi, _everything becomes a miracle_.

“Sunbae,” the boy called, causing for Jinyoung’s heart to pound upon the realization that he wasn’t dreaming, that the Daehwi right in front of him was indeed real. “Jinyoung-sunbae.”

His mind was filled with the same questions that he had when he first met Daehwi: Why was he there? Where did he come from? Why the hell did he suddenly appear? And all of them, up to that moment, remaining unanswered.

It was only when their professor suddenly spoke that Jinyoung was able to snap out of his trance and tear his gaze away from the rose colored face of the boy.

“Just like what we have discussed, you will be partnered up for the semester project—“, _partners? “_ Which is to compose a letter in a form of a song or dance to your soulmate – supposing they’re real.” _Soulmates_?!

At that point, Jinyoung swore his mind had stopped working, all the screws in his head becoming loose.  Out of all the topics that their professor would have to choose, it just had to be about soulmates. And out of all the students in the class who could have been his partner, it just had to be Daehwi.

_My love, Lee Daehwi._

“Make sure to discuss with your partners about the project,” the professor said as the students started gathering their things. “And that’s it. Class dismissed.”

Without any warning, Jinyoung stood up abruptly from his seat, startling Daehwi and earning him weird looks from their classmates.

“I-I have to go.” He muttered, voice barely audible amidst the noise in the room.

Jinyoung immediately ran out, his mind trying to come up with possible reasons as to how the situation came to that. Although no matter how hard he tried to rack his brain, he just couldn’t find a plausible answer except for fate, for destiny. Screw Jihoon and his lecture about soulmates – Jinyoung was now blaming everything to fortunes, even his absentmindedness during class.

How he regretted taking up psychology as his elective for the semester.

There was no use in trying to understand the situation. Jinyoung knew that fate never sided with him in the first place, that destiny always loved to play with him, so why bother denying reality? The only thing he should think about now was how to change partners and avoid Daehwi. He can’t work with him. Jinyoung can’t continue being with him. It was hard enough for him, having to have the same schedule as him again for the whole semester, how much more if they were to work on a project together?

It would only make him lose his resolve again, _just like last time._

With his mind distracted with nothing but Daehwi, Jinyoung finally arrived at dorm 11. Before he can even press the passcode to his and Jihoon’s shared room however, the door suddenly opened, revealing his two friends’ curious faces.

Noticing his exhausted state, Jihoon raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with you?”

“Running away from someone?” Woojin teased.

 _Running away from feelings, from reality, from life._ Jinyoung sighed. _Running away from Daehwi._

“Bae Jinyoung!”

Jinyoung shivered upon hearing the voice. Turning to his side, he saw a chestnut headed boy, hands rested on his thin knees as he breathed heavily, face flushed after running.

“Daehwi?” Jihoon and Woojin turned to look at each other before realizing the odd scene in front of them. Realizing the frantic expression of Jinyoung, Jihoon and Woojin blocked the doorway instantaneously, rendering their friend’s effort in entering futile.

Daehwi immediately trudged down the hallway in seconds, not even trying to hide the upset look on his face. “Why did you suddenly leave?”

Jinyoung swallowed hard. This was not a part of his plan.

“I-I was just in a hurry,” Jinyoung answered. “Jihoon asked me to help him revise—“

“Uh… you know that Jihoon can’t revise with anybody but me.” Woojin said in a small voice, whimpering afterwards upon being hit by Jihoon’s elbow.

“Is that the best excuse that you can give?”

“It’s not an excuse—“

“That’s crap, hyung.” Daehwi spat out, his intense gaze not faltering even for a second against Jinyoung’s cold ones.

“Look Daehwi, I’m sorry for leaving you like that.” Jinyoung said. “You can forget about the project. I will just do it by myself—“

“This isn’t about the project anymore, hyung!” Daehwi was already screaming, causing for Jihoon and Woojin to recoil. “I am so done with you running away from me!”

Taking a deep breath, Jinyoung tried to calm himself, hoping that it would also affect Daehwi. “I wasn’t running away from you—“

“Then why did you kiss me?!”

Albeit hearing Daehwi’s words, Jinyoung’s efforts were rendered futile as his breathing hitched.

“Why did you act as if nothing happened?!”

Jinyoung’s eyes widened.

“Why did you just leave me?! Why did you act as if I never confessed that I love you?!” Daehwi was already in tears by now, uncaring of the 7 other flabbergasted individuals (namely Jisung, Sungwoon, Minhyun, Seongwoo, Daniel, Jaehwan, and Guanlin) that suddenly popped out from their respective rooms upon hearing the commotion between him and Jinyoung. “Why… why do you keep on hurting me?!”

Jinyoung’s hands trembled, keeping the eye contact with Daehwi’s tear filled ones. Without any warning, he grabbed one of Daehwi’s hands tightly as the dorm members, including Jihoon and Woojin, gasped.

“H-hyung—“ Without uttering any other word, Jinyoung marched down the hallway and left the dorm, dragging the utterly confused Daehwi in the process.

Silence engulfed the atmosphere as the dorm members finally let out the breaths they’ve unconsciously held.

“Be sure to update us when the drama’s done, okay?” Jaehwan said, receiving nods from both Jihoon and Woojin.

Holding each other’s hands tightly, Jihoon and Woojin went back inside their room with small smiles, silently praying that everything goes well for their beloved friends.  


	5. Daehwi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung finally reveals his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay!  
> I'm still waiting for the english subs of W1 Go ZeroBase! lmao PLS ANYBODY WHO HAS A LINK TO AN ENG SUB SOMWHERE, I BEG YOU TO SHARE YOUR INFO THANKS LOVE U  
> Anyway, watching the raws of W1 Go 0Base, I didn't see much JinHwi interactions, and I am srsly getting malnutrition because of it. I expected there to be a lot of JinHwi goodness, but much to my dismay, there are only few to none.  
> I am not complaining nonetheless, since there will be 8 episodes! Hoorah! (if what I saw in the internet is true).
> 
> ALSO, I might or might not be updating the next weekend. As of now, I have chapter 6 all done (WHICH IS A HUGE DOSE OF JINHWI FLUFF BTW, AND IT IS THE CLIMAX OF THE WHOLE STORY SO Y'ALL BETTER ANTICIPATE FOR IT - IT'S LIKE THE LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR AND MY DEFINITE FAVORITE) but I won't be posting it until I finish writing chapter 7 - and that depends since I've been so busy lately that I barely have time to whip something up from my very limited imagination and english vocabulary. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter isn't too much but I hope chapter 1-4 becomes clearer now since the truth has been revealed.  
> Enjoy, lovelies!

Under the dusky night sky, the lights from the Seoul skyscrapers turned vivid like crystals sparkling iridescently. Yet no matter how bright and dazzling those lights were, all Daehwi could see were Jinyoung’s eyes. They were exactly the same eyes that Daehwi saw in his dream and he couldn’t deny that they were beautiful.

Beautiful as they were, Daehwi knew that behind those eyes lies a whole new arcane universe that nobody has ever been to.

And as much as he found it hard to believe, there he was, standing in the bus with the older male towering over him. After the scene that he made, Jinyoung suddenly dragged Daehwi to the bus stop with the latter having no idea where they were heading to. The raven headed boy’s actions surprised Daehwi, much more so when they held hands, but no matter how perplexed he was with the suddenness, he opted to remain silent and follow him. No matter where they go, Daehwi wouldn’t complain and just follow Jinyoung for this was it – the chance he had been waiting for. After a long time of waiting, he would finally be able to enter the unfamiliar universe which he had long been dying to enter.

Realizing that the bus was coming to a stop, Jinyoung got off but not before stretching out his hand to Daehwi. “Come on, this is our stop.” Seeing Jinyoung’s outstretched hand, Daehwi needed not to think twice and grabbed a hold of it, alighting the bus as well. Giving him one last look, Jinyoung started walking, his hand still tightly clasped with Daehwi’s.

_So the cold and stoic Jinyoung is into skinships…_

It wasn’t a secret to Daehwi that Jinyoung had been trying his utter best to avoid him for the past semester, and yet there they were, holding hands while walking under the brightly lit star studded night sky. Daehwi couldn’t deny that he was way beyond confused by this point. Yet no matter how confused he was, it didn’t matter for he wanted to cherish that moment, that moment where nothing else seemed to matter except him and Jinyoung.

Only when Jinyoung finally let go of his hand that Daehwi’s frantic heart beat finally calmed down, a hint of disappointment coursing through his body at the loss of touch. But the dissatisfaction was soon forgotten when he realized that they were in front of a rather large old house, settled in the middle of an uphill and dividing the once one way road into two.

Jinyoung entered the gate passcode and in no time did the door opened. Entering the said gate, Jinyoung halted in his steps when he saw Daehwi standing outside, gawking at him. “This is my house,” he said, grabbing hold of Daehwi’s hand again as the boy tried hard to contain the flabbergasted look on his face.

 _What are we doing here? Why are we in hyung’s house? Are his parents inside? Why is he holding my hand again? Do I look presentable enough? But is he going to let go of my hand again anytime soon? Hopefully not…_ Daehwi’s heart started picking up the pace again as his thoughts had gone disarray after hearing Jinyoung’s declaration. It was the last place that Daehwi expected them to go to so being in the said location made him feel all sorts of emotions at once.

Then again, when it comes to Jinyoung, _everything is always unexpected_.

“Don’t be nervous,” Jinyoung squeezed Daehwi’s hand reassuringly, as if he had heard all of the latter’s concerns. “Only my mom is here.”

The interior wasn’t grand; the furniture and scheme were mostly made out of woods and creams. The place was spacious nonetheless and exuded a vintage feel which Daehwi definitely liked. “Your place is nice.” Daehwi commented, his eyes roaming the inside. He then turned to Jinyoung and asked curiously, “where’s your dad?”

His face unchanging, Jinyoung answered, “he’s dead.”

All amazement suddenly vanished as Daehwi felt a tad lightheaded, his face becoming pale. Although before he can even sort out his thoughts, sounds of what seemed to be wheels moving were suddenly heard, followed by a lady’s voice.

“Son, is that you?” a raven black haired woman sitting in a wheelchair appeared from the kitchen, a small smile playing on her thin lips. The woman looked young, passing off as being in her late 30’s despite the faint lines of wrinkles on her face.

Letting go of Daehwi’s hand, Jinyoung approached the woman as she slowly brought her hands to his face. “Yes, Mrs. Bae. It’s Jinyoung.” Jinyoung answered, causing for the woman’s eyes to crinkle into small arches – resembling that of Jinyoung’s eye smile very much.

 _Mrs. Bae?_ Hearing Jinyoung’s answer, Daehwi’s eyebrow furrowed as he watch him take hold of the woman’s wheelchair.

“What brings you here at this time of night?” Mrs. Bae asked, eyes focused on Daehwi as Jinyoung pushed her wheelchair to where the obviously panicked boy stood. “Don’t you have classes?”

 _Is there something wrong with me? Am I too casually dressed? But Jinyoung-hyung didn’t even tell me that we’re going here! She might not like me for her son!_ Daehwi freaked internally, the smile on his face not faltering despite the nervousness.

“We have, but I just felt like staying at home tonight. We’ll go back to the dorms tomorrow.” Jinyoung said.

The woman raised an eyebrow in return. “We? You brought a guest home?”

Upon hearing the woman’s question, Daehwi’s face contorted in confusion as he opened his mouth to speak, but found himself unable to utter any coherent words. “I… uh…” hearing his voice, the woman then gestured for him to come close. Receiving a nod from Jinyoung, Daehwi quickly obliged as he stood on one knee and allowed the woman to touch his face gently. It was only then when he realized that the woman wasn’t staring at him; it was only then when he realized that she was staring at nothing. “G-good evening, Mrs. Bae. My name is Lee Daehwi,” he introduced. “I’m Jinyoung-hyung’s junior and dorm mate.”

Stroking his cheeks fondly, the woman broke out into a delighted smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Daehwi-ssi, and if I must say, you have such a pretty face.” the woman then patted his head warmly. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you pretty… ‘cause I know that you really are even if I can’t see you.”

“Oh no—“ Daehwi waved his hands in denial instinctively, but dropped it afterwards after hearing Jinyoung’s snort. “I mean, it’s okay, Mrs. Bae. It’s my pleasure to be called pretty by such a lovely woman such as yourself.”

Mrs. Bae chuckled. “Oh my, you have a very adorable friend, Jinyoung-ah.” She then yawned softly afterwards.

Seeing this, Jinyoung removed the breaks on her wheelchair. “You should probably go to sleep now. Let me take you back.”

“I was already asleep but just got up to drink water when you came actually.”

“Why did you go out by yourself?”

“Your aunt’s really tired today. She just helped me to move from the bed and I told her to sleep again, I can do it by myself anyway.” Mrs. Bae smiled reassuringly. “Don’t worry too much, son.” She touched Jinyoung’s hand carefully with a smile. “Daehwi-ssi,”

Hearing his name, Daehwi jerked. “Yes, Mrs. Bae?”

“I’ll be going back to sleep now. You two should go hit the hays now too,” Mrs. Bae smiled but not without yawning again shortly. “Make yourself at home, goodnight Daehwi!”

“Have a good night’s rest, Mrs. Bae! Goodnight!” Daehwi answered as the woman only smiled.

Turning to his back, Jinyoung whispered, “wait for me here,” before pushing Mrs. Bae’s wheelchair away from the living room. After a couple of minutes, Daehwi heard a clicking of the door then saw Jinyoung’s figure emerging from the dark. “You must be hungry, I’ll just buy a take out delivery from across. Jajjangmyeon and tangsuyuk, Is that fine with you?” Jinyoung asked as Daehwi keenly nodded. Whilst Jinyoung was typing on his phone, a faint grumbling sound resonated in the air, causing for Daehwi’s cheeks to blush pink. Jinyoung broke out into a chuckle. “I would’ve cooked up something but I don’t think your stomach can wait for that long. The restaurant I just ordered from is just right across the street so it won’t take that long.”

Certainly, after 5 minutes, the doorbell rang as a delivery man appeared from behind the front door’s led display. Jinyoung ran to greet the delivery man, receiving their food. After paying, he then returned and gestured for Daehwi to follow him.

Whilst going up the wooden stairs, Daehwi shuffled his bag, looking for his wallet. “Hyung, let me pay you—“

“It’s on me,” Jinyoung said, looking back at Daehwi with a small smile. “It’s the least I can do after suddenly dragging you here without any warning.”

“It’s… it’s fine.” Daehwi answered. _At least you’re finally opening up to me._

Upon reaching the last step, Jinyoung moved to the side to make way for Daehwi. “Can you open the door, I kind of got my hands full…” Jinyoung said as the boy followed without any question.

Opening the door, a strong scent of nature immediately hit Daehwi as his eyes widened in awe. Behind the door lies a garden filled with different plants and flowers – with some Daehwi recognizing to be lilies and stargazers, his favorite. Running towards the glass railings of the balcony, Daehwi’s eyes flickered in wonder as he watched the usually dark and gloomy sky shimmer brilliantly as it was speckled with a million of stars.

“Jinyoung-hyung, it’s so beautiful here!” Daehwi exclaimed, unable to tear away his gaze from the magnificent view before him.

Putting down the food on the short but wide wooden table that was standing in the middle of the garden, Jinyoung called Daehwi signaling for him to come. Resembling that of a puppy, Daehwi immediately ran towards Jinyoung and plopped himself on the table across from his place excitedly. Seeing the animated look on Daehwi’s face, Jinyoung chortled whilst preparing the boy’s food. He then handed it to him shortly to which the boy graciously accepted.

“Thanks! I’ll eat it well!”

The two ate in silence, with Daehwi’s eyes still glued to the star dusted night sky. The place was just beautifully breathtaking, seemingly so surreal. Especially since at that moment, Jinyoung was right beside him. If it was before, Daehwi would’ve been sure that he was just dreaming, that it was only another one of his dreams where they were in a dark room and the raven haired boy was only staring at him. Except this time, it was reality.

At that moment, everything was real.

“According to my aunt, this sky garden was made by the late Mr. Bae,” the voice of Jinyoung disrupted the silence as Daehwi turned to look at him. “Mrs. Bae loved nature, so her husband made one part of the house into one.” He explained to Daehwi, watching him wipe the sides of his mouth and missing the small spot of sauce on his cheek. Raising his hand, Jinyoung approached Daehwi, startling the boy.

“W-what are you—“ before he can even finish speaking though, Jinyoung had already wiped his cheek, licking the sauce on his thumb and causing for Daehwi’s ears to burn red.

“You don’t seem so nervous anymore,” Jinyoung smirked, watching as Daehwi tried his best to act normally. Seeing as his cheeks were still so rosy, he followed up, “Oh maybe you are still.”

Daehwi pouted in return. “That’s because you’re doing all of this confusing stuff, knowing very well how I would feel—“ he then paused. “Wait, how did you know that I was nervous?” he asked curiously, staring at Jinyoung as the smile on his face suddenly disappeared. He then snorted upon realizing what he just said. “What the hell am I asking, my face must be so obvious. I really am like an open book—“

“You did a good job in hiding what you’re feeling. Everyone can get fooled but not me… I always know how you’re feeling at each and every moment,” Jinyoung said, staring straight into Daehwi’s eyes. “Even now, I know that you’re still nervous but the confusion is much more.”

Daehwi felt himself having goosebumps. “W-what, how…” Daehwi stuttered. “Y-you can read minds?” he asked incredulously.

“I can’t,” Jinyoung simply answered before breaking out into a smile. “And this only applies to you but… I can feel what you feel.” Daehwi only stared at him, still not getting what the male was saying. “I know that this may sound crazy – even I thought that it was impossible – but whatever emotions or feelings you have at the moment, I will feel it and it’s the same for you too. You’ll feel what I feel. We literally share our emotions.”

Despite being utterly perplexed, Daehwi asked, “And why is that?”

“We’re soulmates, Daehwi.” Jinyoung declared, feeling the confusion of the boy turn into disbelief. “I know that you’ve already seen me in your dreams before we even met at the dorms. It was the same for me too, I’ve seen you countless of times in my dreams.” And that disbelief had then turned into astonishment. “The night before we met, that was the only time I saw your eyes and the first time I heard your voice… and when I finally did, my heart burned excruciatingly. You experienced that too, right?” Daehwi nodded hesitantly, mouth ajar at a loss of words. “That’s the signal that we were finally going to meet – according to Jihoon, that is.”

“Jihoon-hyung knows about all of this?” Daehwi questioned. “He has a soulmate too?”

Jinyoung nodded. “It’s Woojin.”

“No wonder those two are so in love with each other…” _Jihoon and Woojin were fated to be together…_ Daehwi was still confused, but the amazement was much more that as much as everything was so hard to believe, he never doubted Jinyoung’s words. “This is all so hard to believe, but if everything’s true then… wow, so soulmates are real…” Although a thought suddenly came up to him, causing for him to look at Jinyoung cautiously. “Did you also feel how excited I was to enter our university?”

“Jihoon thought the world was coming to an end seeing me so giddy since I never usually am,” Jinyoung chuckled at the thought but halted upon hearing Daehwi’s next question.

“Then why did you continue to avoid me even after knowing very well that I was suffering from being apart from you?” Daehwi didn’t break their eye contact, feeling his heart throbbing in apprehension, matching that of Jinyoung’s. “If everything that you said was true, then surely you must know it in yourself that you were also the same… that you were also anguished with us being apart from each other.” Ignoring their shared anxiety, Daehwi asked once more, “Even after being aware of everything… why did you keep running away from me?”

Jinyoung teared his gaze away from Daehwi in an attempt to hide the forlorn expression his face was unconsciously making. “We can’t be together, Daehwi.”

Hearing Jinyoung’s words, Daehwi felt the pain doubling in intensity. “W-why?” Jinyoung didn’t respond, his face still turned away from Daehwi. “Hyung, you and I both know that my feelings for you are not one sided, that you also want me to be with you… yet why do you keep on denying it?!”

“Because you can’t be with a sinner like me, Daehwi!” Jinyoung’s head shot up, the tears in his eyes brimming. “Daehwi, I… I ruined this family… I killed Mr. Bae…”

Seeing Jinyoung’s outburst, Daehwi fell silent as he stared at the former in shock.

“I was the reason why Mr. Bae died and why Mrs. Bae is disabled and blind now. I was on the way home from a party… Mr. and Mrs. Bae were going to pick me up and told me to just wait for them… but it seems that I still insisted on driving despite being under the influence of alcohol and ended up crashing into their car…” Jinyoung confessed, gritting his teeth in anger. “And you know the worst thing about it?” he asked, putting on a despondent smile as the tears pooling in his eyes finally broke free. “I have amnesia, Daehwi,” he managed to squeak in between sobs. “I was in a comma for 6 months and when I finally woke up, I can’t remember the accident… or anything at all – even my identity. I only heard about the accident from Jihoon since he was with me at the party…”

Daehwi’s tears was now threatening to fall down as well, seeing the shaky figure of Jinyoung right in front of him. His heart was broken just from knowing the truth, how much more can it be for the person who actually experienced everything?

“I couldn’t even bring myself to call my parents as mom and dad since I couldn’t recognize myself as their son. Surely, good people like them wouldn’t have a despicable son like me…”

“Jinyoung-hyung, that’s not true—“

“I can see it in Mrs. Bae’s eyes, Daehwi!” Jinyoung exclaimed, his shoulders trembling uncontrollably. “I can see the pain and sadness in her eyes every time I look at her! Sure, she never blamed me for everything that happened but I know that if not for me then she and her husband would still be together! _Their_ family would still be complete!” he cried furiously. “I can’t even mourn properly since I don’t remember anything! It was me who should have died that day—“

“Mr. and Mrs. Bae would be disappointed if they were to hear you right now. They would never wish for you to die in their place, Jinyoung-hyung.” Carefully holding Jinyoung’s tear filled face, Daehwi looked at him straight in the eyes, his own tears finally falling down. “Mrs. Bae never blamed you because it was never your fault. You didn’t wish for that accident to happen so stop blaming and torturing yourself for everything. Even if you do, nothing can’t be changed anymore; what’s done is done. The sadness that you’re seeing from Mrs. Bae right now is not because of what happened, but from the fact that you’re still wallowing over something that she never blamed you for.”

Breathing heavily, Jinyoung stared at Daehwi in pure pain. “Why are you even doing this, Daehwi? I hurt you yet you’re still here… I don’t deserve you… you can never be happy with me—“

“I can never be happy if I am _not_ with you.” Daehwi corrected, wiping Jinyoung’s tears. “You are not and will never be a sinner, Jinyoung-hyung… but even if you are, I would still choose to be with you.” Daehwi wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s figure, placing the latter’s head on his chest and letting him take comfort in his touch. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t have any memories… we’ll just create new ones since you have me now.”

Daehwi just let Jinyoung cry his heart out, hugging him protectively and never letting go. He knew that the male was lost, that he was broken, but never did it occur in his mind that the male was incapable or lacking. Instead, it only made Daehwi want to heal his pain. Jinyoung’s imperfections only made Daehwi love him more. Amidst all of the male’s uncertainties, Daehwi still believed that Jinyoung was the rightest person for him. Daehwi still believed that he could never be with anyone except Jinyoung, for he was the only one his eyes looked for. Jinyoung was the only one that Daehwi’s heart longed for. Even destiny agreed so much that it conspired with the universe just to let them be with each other.

But even if it wasn’t planned by fate, even if they weren’t meant for each other, Daehwi will still find a way for them to be together.

“No matter how many times you try to avoid me, no matter how many times you try to hurt me, and even if you forget everything… I won’t ever leave you.”

_I won’t ever stop myself from loving you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us all hug our fragile Jinyoung and protect him from all harm.  
> JinHwi is so soft, my heart is melting...  
> But JinHwi will be even softer in the next chapter mahaha  
> kbye


	6. Jinyoung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing Without You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR.  
> PREPARE YOURSELVES FOR A ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF FEELS.  
> PLEASE READ THIS WHILE LISTENING TO BEAUTIFUL - WANNA ONE. 
> 
> I apologize for not updating sooner but damn, adulting is really hard.  
> Anyhow, W1'S ALBUM IS REALLY JUST SO BEAUTIFUL I KENNOT.  
> Their songs have been on repeat for the whole week and I most likely won't stop for at least a couple weeks more. 
> 
> It's just so sad that I don't have anybody to spazz with. Please talk to me, my lovelies.  
> I am a very lonely soul.
> 
> BUT JINHWI IS STILL SAILING, I JUST KNOW IT.  
> NOT EVEN MNET'S UNFAIR EDITING OF W1 GO 0BASE CAN STOP THEM!  
> JINHWI FOR THE WIN!  
> Okay, enjoy this update! xoxo

 [Beautiful](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4_tHTmniw4) - Wanna One

* * *

 

_Never feel any more fear,_

Wide, cherry colored lips curved into a soft smile. Small, button nose that loved to get a whiff of his natural scent.

_As long as I'm with you,_

Big sparkling eyes that never failed to divulge his soul.

_The world is so beautiful._

Fluttering his eyes open, Jinyoung broke out into a huge grin. “Good morning, love.” he reached for the younger’s face, watching as the boy continued to hum. “Did you have a good night’s sleep?”

Daehwi closed his eyes and held Jinyoung’s hands against his cheeks, relishing the warmth of the male. “You hugged me so tightly while sleeping last night that I could barely breathe…” he then smiled gently. “But yes, I did. I always feel the warmest with you by my side.”

Jinyoung’s eyes flickered as he stared onto Daehwi’s moist, pink lips. Licking his own trembling ones, he tried to fight the sudden desire that was brewing within him only to end up squeezing the boy’s cheeks. “Hyong, whatch wong? (Hyung, what’s wrong?)” Daehwi’s words were muffled, his big, bright eyes staring into Jinyoung’s curiously.

“Aish, Lee Daehwi!” Without any warning, Jinyoung abruptly pressed his lips against Daehwi’s. “Why—“ he pressed another kiss towards the boy after. “Are you—“ and another. “So cute?!“ Giving one last long smooch, Jinyoung breathed heavily as he watched the boy’s cheeks bloom into a rosy color whilst his eyes widen in surprise.

“I-what-Jinyoung—“ Daehwi stuttered, his face flushing even more under the crinkled eyes of his boyfriend. “I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet!” He then snuggled his head onto Jinyoung’s chest, trying to hide his reddened face and causing for the male to laugh heartily.

Jinyoung cuddled Daehwi’s body tightly as he placed a chaste kiss on the boy’s forehead. The boy giggled in response as Jinyoung smiled blithely, imprinting every moment that they shared in his mind.

“I wish we could stay like this forever...” Jinyoung whispered. “I wish we could stay together forever.”

Jinyoung could honestly say that he was having the time of his life.

His grades weren’t exactly the best, but he was above average. His memories were still missing somewhere in the furthest depths of his mind, but he was now having flashbacks bit by bit – although still hazy. His parents were still unfamiliar to him and the guilt was still surely in his heart, but he was now trying to move on. He can now comfortably call Mrs. Bae as his ‘mom’, and Mr. Bae as his ‘dad.

He was still lacking on so many areas, but for him, at that moment, he felt complete.

Even with only Daehwi by his side, Jinyoung felt whole.

The months when he was avoiding Daehwi were the darkest moments of his life, seeming as if he could not ever escape from that black hole. And he regretted it. Jinyoung regretted wasting those moments in trying to deny his feelings when he could have just shared those moments with the boy.

Then again, it was all in the past. The dark and depressed Jinyoung was no more.

And it was all because of the bright and ever so dazzling Daehwi.

_“So what’s your favorite food?”_

_“Meat? Chocolate?” Jinyoung answered, watching Daehwi happily gulf down his chocolate ice cream. They were already going out for 2 months when Daehwi realized that they never got to know the small details about each other. Jinyoung didn’t mind to be honest, since he already knew those kinds of information (thanks to his stalking days and also to his source, Woojin) but if the boy wants to interview him, then he would gladly answer all of his questions._

_Daehwi looked at him funnily. “You’re even unsure about something like that?”_

_Jinyoung just shrugged in response. “I can’t decide, I like both.”_

_“Oh well, who’s your favorite person then?” Daehwi asked again, giving the male a hopeful look. “Aside from your family, of course.”_

_Resting his chin on the palm of his hand, Jinyoung smirked. “Jihoon, since he was the one who stayed by my side ever since I got into an accident.”_

_Hearing this, Daehwi’s spoon fell off from his mouth. “But I’m here now…” he mumbled, the disappointment very clear on his face. “I can’t believe you, Bae Jinyoung.” he scoffed, crossing his arms and turning away from his boyfriend._

_“Daehwi.” Jinyoung called, moving to the seat beside the boy who refused to face him. “Daehwi, are you mad?”_

_“I’m not,” Pouting in response, Daehwi retorted, “You would know if I am.”_

_“I know you’re annoyed right now. I can feel it.”_

_“Then why bother asking?” Daehwi snapped, but Jinyoung only smiled._

_“Daehwi,” Jinyoung called again. “Lee Daehwi.”_

_Although irritated, Daehwi eventually turned to him with a scowl on his face. “What—“ but before he can even exclaim, he can already feel Jinyoung’s warm lips on his._

_“I take it back, I don’t like Jihoon. I’m pretty sure of my answers now.” Jinyoung said, putting on an innocent smile as Daehwi stared at him, cheeks blooming red against his dumbfounded expression. “I like Chocolate more than meat, but my favorite will have to be Lee Daehwi.” Seeing the growing smile on Daehwi’s face, Jinyoung asked sheepishly. “Can I hug you?”_

_Daehwi chuckled upon hearing the question. “You already kissed me and now you’re still asking if you can hug me?” he wrapped his arms around Jinyoung’s waist, gently snuggling his face on the crook of the latter’s neck. “You can do anything you want…” he whispered. “As long as it’s you, I won’t be afraid.”_

Daehwi was the one who pulled Jinyoung out of the dark, the one who managed to provide him with nothing but light and love. Every single day, the boy never failed to give him small words of encouragements, smiles of comfort, and expressions of love. Those small efforts of Daehwi had big effects on Jinyoung and before the latter can even realize it, little by little, he had already changed. The things that he didn’t know he could do seemed so natural to him now. The burden and guilt that he had carried all this time had slowly decreased and he learned how to accept fate. He had learned to see the beauty of life. Jinyoung had finally learned how to love himself.

_“As long as it’s you, I will accept everything.”_

Jinyoung realized then and there that his first impression of Daehwi was true, that he was indeed an angel incarnate.

_“I will love all of you... forever.”_

And he was his angel.

“What are you smiling about?” Daehwi asked, looking up at Jinyoung.

“Nothing,” Jinyoung chuckled. “I just realized our first kiss was kind of sweet, happened while you were eating ice cream.” Realizing what he said, he followed, “Not the one in your, Guanlin and Woojin’s shared room.”

Daehwi smirked at him. “I don’t consider that one as our first kiss since you just took advantage of my drunken state.”

“I did not!” Jinyoung exclaimed only to pout a few seconds after. “… okay, maybe I really did. Sorry for being unable to control myself.”

Seeing this, Daehwi can’t help but giggle. “Jinyoungie, Daehi wants a kiss.” he pursed his lips cutely, rousing a soft laughter from the male.

“I thought you haven’t brushed your teeth yet?”

“Neither have you.” Holding Jinyoung’s laughing face, Daehwi pulled him closer. “Faster!”

Finally calming himself down, Jinyoung closed his eyes as Daehwi did the same. He was about to comply with the boy’s wishes when the door suddenly slammed open and a pair of two round eyes appeared.

“I can’t believe the day would come when I’d get to see my cousin and my best friend eating each other’s faces so early in the morning.”

“You should’ve seen that coming the day Daehwi and I decided to exchange rooms.” 

Daehwi rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Ever heard of the word ‘knock’?”

Ever since Daehwi and Jinyoung started dating, the former had become a usual in Jihoon and Jinyoung’s room. Initially, it was fine for Jihoon since he knew that Daehwi was doing good to Jinyoung. Whenever Daehwi stayed at their room, Jihoon would then go to Daehwi, Guanlin, and Woojin’s shared room across from theirs so the lovers could have some time alone. It was good for him too since he get to spend more time with his own lover, Woojin. It went on for a couple of weeks until Daehwi and Jihoon got tired of getting their things from their respective rooms and just decided to switch places.

The only one who was against the idea was Guanlin, actually. Not because Daehwi had left him – they’re just 2 doors away from each other – but because he had to witness scenes from Jihoon and Woojin that innocent children (like himself, according to Guanlin) should not see. He had protested against the switch, always trying to find ways to cock block Jihoon and Woojin (he never bothered Daehwi and Jinyoung since he was fond of the cool, deep and dark hyung). Jihoon and Woojin didn’t mind at first, deeming that the tall maknae was just undergoing puberty – a tad too late at that – but then it got really annoying to a point where they couldn’t even sit together for the boy would always be in between them.

Having enough of the youngest’s rebellion, Jihoon decided to introduce one of his juniors to Guanlin. Also a freshman in performing arts, residing at dorm 12, that goes by the name of Yoo Seonho. After introducing him to Guanlin, the boy had begun to stay less and less frequently at their shared room, and after a month, the boy had completely move in to the next dorm. Daehwi and Woojin didn’t mind nonetheless, since Guanlin always visited them anyway, together with his newfound love, Yoo Seonho.

_All is well that ends well._

Sitting up straight on the bed, Jinyoung’s face reddened whereas Daehwi only stuck a tongue out. “What are you two doing here so early in the morning anyway?” Daehwi asked, a hint of annoyance slipping through his hoarse morning voice.

“Somebody got up on a wrong note.” Woojin snorted, taking a seat on the bed Jihoon once owned but now belongs to Daehwi – one of which he never used since he always snuggled himself against Jinyoung.

Jihoon sat beside him, legs crossing as he mocked, “Was it because Daehi didn’t get his morning kiss from his oh so loving Jinyoungie?”

Daehwi chucked a pillow towards Jihoon’s face – one the boy swiftly avoided – only to get smacked by the one Woojin threw after. “Ah hyung!” Daehwi whined against Jinyoung, pouting for extra effect. “They’re bullying me again!”

Feeling Daehwi’s irritation, Jinyoung wrapped his arms around the boy protectively, rousing a round of barfing sounds from his two friends. “Why are you two here anyway?”

“I was going to borrow your dress shirt for our term performance later. Can I?” Woojin asked.

Jinyoung nodded his head nonchalantly. “Sure, no problem. But I’ll be using it for our semester project as well—“ realizing what he just said, both he and Daehwi shot up, eyes bulging in panic. “Shoot! We’re late!”

In a blink of an eye, 2 figures were suddenly running back and forth in front of Jihoon and Woojin, trying to gather as much things as possible. Seeing this, Jihoon and Woojin just shook their heads and sighed. “From now on, morning romance is a no no.” Jihoon said as Woojin just nodded, the two of them carefully slipping out of the room and fleeing from the catastrophe that was happening.

Fortunately, Daehwi and Jinyoung arrived just in time when their names were called. Sure, they looked sloppy for they weren’t even able to wash up and they looked like they were just ran down, but the funny looks from their classmates didn’t matter at all since they were able to get an A for their project – thanks to Jinyoung’s fluid playing of the piano and Daehwi’s rearrangement of the song ‘Perhaps Love’.

Jinyoung wasn’t done yet however.

_I’m just about to start._

When their professor asked if there was anybody who could clean up and close the room after, Jinyoung immediately raised his hand. Daehwi shot him a look, obviously wanting to go back to the comfort of their place immediately but Jinyoung didn’t pay any attention to him. “I can do that, sir.”

“Thanks, Jinyoung-ah. Make sure you return the key to the faculty room after.” the professor said after handing him the key. He then gathered his things and followed after his students rushing out of the room, but not without yelling a, “great performance, by the way!” to him.

As soon as their professor was out of earshot, Daehwi raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “What the hell was that about, Bae Jinyoung? I know you’re nice and all but really, cleaning up after about 40 students’ mess—“ he stopped when he felt his heartbeat fasten – mimicking that of Jinyoung’s. “Hyung, is there something wrong? Why can I feel like you’re nervous—“ He was cut off by Jinyoung’s pointer finger.

Grabbing his hand, Jinyoung made Daehwi sit on the chair in front of the grand piano in the room. He locked the doors after, completely ignoring the worried look of the chestnut brown headed boy.

Taking a deep breath, Jinyoung sat down on the piano chair again. Licking his dry, chapped lips, he gave Daehwi one last look as he positioned his hands on the keys, tuning out all the nervousness he – and Daehwi - were feeling.

_Actually after our first meeting_

_Saying I like you_

_Isn’t something easy for me_

Jinyoung sang, his hands carefully pressing each key, making no room for any mistakes. At the sight of Daehwi’s glimmering eyes and genuinely smiling lips, all of his nervousness immediately disappeared. The exhaustion from the sleepless nights was now gone and he felt himself becoming light and ecstatic, realizing and sharing the emotions of his lover.

_If my love for you gets any deeper_

_It will only result in getting hurt_

_My fears are filling my mind_

_This is the truth_

_Praying with all my heart, the person I’m yearning for_

_I believe that person is you_

Jinyoung waited for this day, for the day when he’ll finally confess all of his feelings for Daehwi without any inhibitions. All this time he knew that he had only been on the receiving end, not being able to give more than what he should. In spite of that, Daehwi never made him feel like he was unhappy. Despite lacking in so many ways, Daehwi never made him feel like anything of the sort. Despite all his shortcomings, Daehwi only gave him endless love without wanting anything in return.

Daehwi brought out the best in Jinyoung, making him shine like nobody else.

_I thought I’m never gonna fall in love_

_But I’m in love, ‘cause I wanna love you baby_

_Actually from the first time I met you_

_Somewhere deep in my heart_

_You crashed in like a strong wave_

_You’re the only thing in my mind all day_

Jinyoung knew that he didn’t deserve Daehwi. He knew that the boy deserves so much more than what he can ever give, but he won’t stop himself anymore. He will love Daehwi with everything that he has, give him everything that he can, make him receive more than what he deserved. Call him selfish but he won’t care. Jinyoung’s feelings for Daehwi were just too much for him to control anymore, and even if anybody tries to stop him, he won’t.

Jinyoung loves Daehwi. All he wants is him and nothing else.

_Ahhh… I’m in love_

_Ahhh… I’ll fall in love_

_Never feel any more fear_

_As long as I’m with you_

_The world is so beautiful_

Even if he doesn’t recover his memories anymore, it won’t matter.

For as long as he has Daehwi, as long as he can see the smile on his face, Jinyoung will be happy.

-

 

Making sure that the flowers were safely tucked in the small vase inside the unit, Daehwi finally closed the glass doors and bowed. “I’ll make sure to take care of your son, Mr. Bae. We will visit you again soon.”

Jinyoung touched the glass doors, his eyes staring at their family picture inside the unit. “We’ll visit you again soon, dad.”

It was winter break. The dorms had been vacated for the duration of their vacation but earlier that evening, the members of dorm 11 (plus Seonho) had gathered at their favorite place – the barbecue house in front of the university gate – and celebrated the seniors’ graduation. Actually, their graduation won’t officially be until a few more weeks, but the dorm head (soon to be a dorm alumni), Jisung, decided that their schedule will get hectic once school starts again. It was better for them to celebrate earlier than being unable to celebrate at all.

Daehwi and Jinyoung could only celebrate with them for a while however, as the latter suddenly felt a throbbing pain in his head. Despite not wanting to leave, Jinyoung had no choice for the rest of the members quickly dismissed him, saying, _“Just leave and take a rest or else we won’t get to celebrate since Daehwi will panic and worry incessantly for sure.”_

Though they didn’t immediately go home. They went to the crematorium where Mr. Bae’s ashes were being kept. Daehwi had been there once when he, Jinyoung, and Mrs. Bae had visited Mr. Bae for his birthday. There wasn’t any occasion that day as far as Daehwi knew, since Jinyoung informed him before that Mr. Bae’s death anniversary was on the day of his and Guanlin’s welcome party – the reason why he was late. Despite it being an ordinary day, Daehwi knew why Jinyoung suddenly wanted to go there. Lately, Jinyoung had been seeing a lot more flashbacks, even showing up in his dreams. Every time he would be seeing one, Jinyoung’s body would be tired out seemingly because of overworking his brain, but he didn’t mind nonetheless. In fact, Jinyoung hoped it would happen more, since that was what he wanted all this time – to regain his missing memories.

Sure, he felt complete having Daehwi by his side and the boy accepted him for whoever he was, but he wanted to show his everything to him. Jinyoung wanted Daehwi to be a part of his past, his present, and his future.

“Let’s go home quickly, it’s getting late.” Jinyoung said, entwining his hands with Daehwi as the two of them walked their ways out of the facility. Upon reaching the exit, both his and Daehwi’s eyes widened as they saw the roads of Seoul slowly being covered by white flakes of snow.

“It’s the first snow of this year.” Daehwi muttered under his smoky breath, admiring the beauty of the snow blending with the various colors of Seoul at night. “Let’s make a wish!” he told Jinyoung.

Putting on a small smile, the two of them closed their eyes, silently praying for their wishes.

“Jinyoungie-hyung, what did you wish for?” Daehwi asked, his big bright eyes staring curiously at Jinyoung. “I wished that you’d stop wearing those hideous bucket hats,” he declared, gaining him a look from the raven haired male. “And that we’ll always be happy and healthy!”

“You shouldn’t say your wishes out loud, Daehwi, or else it won’t come true.” Jinyoung chuckled. “Especially the one with the bucket hats,” He insisted. “Not going to happen.”

“I’m sure it will come true no matter what, being happy and healthy at the very least.”

Jinyoung caressed Daehwi’s rosy cheeks fondly. “I love you so much, Daehwi.”

Hearing this, Daehwi beamed as he carefully tiptoed, pressing his lips meaningfully on Jinyoung’s, the two of them completely in bliss. “And I love you so much more!”

“That’s why I believe you,” Jinyoung smiled. “I also believe that our wishes will come true no matter what—“

The throbbing in his head came back, causing for him to recoil.

“Hyung! Jinyoung-hyung!” Daehwi exclaimed, clutching on to the male’s arm to support him.

“I-I’m fine,” Jinyoung croaked, putting on a small smile to reassure the boy.  

Looking around, Daehwi saw a vending machine a couple of steps away from their place. “Stay here, I’ll just grab you something warm to drink.”

At that moment, all the happenings and events that had occurred in Jinyoung’s life before went by his vision in a flash.

Almost as if a miracle has happened, all the memories from his childhood, teenage years, up to the accident from a year and a half ago had suddenly came back to him, finally answering all the questions that he had all this time.

_Daehwi…_

With a ragged breathing, Jinyoung weakly stood up straight, turning to where Daehwi was.

“Daehwi, I-I…” he called, walking slowly with a bright smile on his smile. “M-my memories are back—“

What happened after was unknown to Jinyoung as he just felt his body soaring in midair only to land forcibly on the cold, wet pavement a second later.

“JINYOUNG!”

He felt numb, unable to move his body as his vision started to get blurred.

“Jinyoung! Hyung! Help, please! Somebody call 119!”

He could hear Daehwi’s frantic screams, seeing a flash of red and white in his hands.

With utmost effort, Jinyoung reached for Daehwi’s hand as he smiled weakly, his body losing all of its energy. The boy cried hysterically, tears running down his face as he trembled against his heavily injured lover’s touch. “No, please! Jinyoung-hyung!”

Jinyoung looked at Daehwi one last time. Wide, cherry lips that always curved into a soft smile. Small, button nose that loved to get a whiff of his natural scent. Big sparkling eyes that never failed to divulge his soul.

_I don’t want to miss a single breath_

_Because of you, I’m beautifully colored_

_Let’s not forget the words, this is the beginning_

_I’ll always place you inside of me_

_So I’ll never forget our memories_

_Don’t forget, don’t let go of me_

“I… love you… always…”

Jinyoung eventually succumbed to his wounds, closing his eyes as his tears dropped down his face and imprinting every moment that he and Daehwi shared in his heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case anybody's curious, the song Jinyoung sang for Daehwi here is 'I'm in love by Ra.D'  
> (a very beautiful song. Narsha also has a version of that but I liked Ra.D's version more.)
> 
> The song at the end was from 'Nothing Without You by Wanna One' WHICH IS JUST PERFECT FOR THIS CHAPTER GOSH.  
> 'Beautiful' is also perfect for this and the next chapter huhuhuhu  
> Why is everything about wanna one so beautiful, I cri ;;;;;;;;;


	7. Daehwi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVELIES!  
> I apologize for not updating for like more than a whole month.  
> Things happened, life happened, that's why it took me a long time to write this chapter. (I ALSO HAD TO RESEARCH ABOUT SELECTIVE AMNESIA ADSAFASDFDFSF THAT KIND OF AMNESIA IS REAL, FYI. IF Y'ALL DON'T BELIEVE ME, I CAN GIVE YOU LINKS TO THE PAGES I READ REGARDING THIS LMAO)  
> (OKAY I THINK I JUST SPOILED Y'ALL BUT IT'S NOT LIKE YOU READ THIS NOTE ANYWAY HAHAHA)  
> The next chapter after this will be the last one and honestly, I'm having a hard time writing that one too HUHU  
> but rest assured that I will finish this!
> 
> and I accidentally deleted my other fic 'Our Summer Serendipity' while I was trying to add a chapter LMAO which is why I will be posting it again, but this time, there are character changes and also minor format changes. Nothing that will make you hate me though, don't worry.
> 
> So, I hope you all have a wonderful holiday!  
> Ciao~

“Hyung, we ate at the barbecue house in front of the university gates again. I’m actually getting tired of it, to be honest.” Daehwi huffed, fixing the pillows with his right hand whilst holding his lover’s head with the other. “I mean, there are other restaurants where we could celebrate, why do we have to always go there?” After tidying the sheets as well, Daehwi carefully laid Jinyoung’s head back on the pillows, tucking him under the white sheets. “Then again, that barbecue house played a big part in getting us together.”

The air was mum; only the beeping sounds from the machines and the bustling of trees and cars can be heard. The room was dimly lit with only a small lampshade being its source of light, as well as the bright full moon hovering above. Snow was slowly falling from the sky, slathering Seoul with a frosted blanket of white.

_Just like how it did before._

“Jinyoung-hyung,” Daehwi called, taking his seat beside the bed as he entwined his hand with Jinyoung’s tightly. “It’s my birthday today.” he whispered, eyes glistening as he watched Jinyoung’s chest heaving up and down, breathing at a very steady pace. “Honestly, I really don’t care wherever we celebrate, as long as you’re with me.” Putting on a hopeful smile, Daehwi kissed Jinyoung’s hands, calmly serenading the sleeping boy with the song that voiced out his feelings.

_Oh I miss you_

_Your last words as you got far away_

_The dazzling you, the angelic you_

_The beautiful you, I want to hold you_

_I want to see you again_

It was mid-winter. Snow falls had been frequent lately, much like how it did a year ago. The cold was still extreme, and the busyness of Seoul still never ceased. Simply looking at it, everything seemed pretty much the same as the year before. Although, it wasn’t the case. Daehwi knew that it wasn’t true. Being inside the hospital room every single day for a whole year, Daehwi had seen how the trees changed colors, how the weather turned from cool to hot and to cool again, how people had come and go in and out of the city. No matter how unnoticeable it was, Daehwi knew that everything changed little by little every day. The only exception was the sleeping raven headed boy beside him, who had kept still and silent as the days slowly passed by.

The moment when Daehwi saw Jinyoung’s bloodied body sprawled on the cold asphalt, his world had stopped. His mind was engulfed in chaos, unable to fully trust his vision. It was only when he heard Jinyoung’s small voice that everything sunk in, that everything in his whole being finally broke down.

_“I… love you… always…”_

The wait in the emergency room that night seemed like forever. Daehwi felt as if his heart was being ripped with each second that passed by. Even when Jinyoung’s mom reassured him and never left his side, it still felt as if the world was ending.

And it really did, when the doctors who operated Jinyoung finally relayed the male’s status to them, when he learned that Jinyoung was in a state of coma with no definite time of when he’ll be waking up. At that moment, all Daehwi could do was cry. The other half of his soul was motionless and still and he couldn’t do anything about it. He wished that it was just him that was hit, that it was him that was there lifeless. Daehwi didn’t care if he was hurt physically as long as Jinyoung was alive, for the emotional and spiritual pain was much, much more.

But he knew that Jinyoung wouldn’t wish for that to happen. Daehwi knew that Jinyoung wouldn’t want to see him cry. Jinyoung loved Daehwi more than he ever loved himself. He promised Daehwi that they will always be together, that he will always be by his side so he never lost hope. Daehwi’s faith on Jinyoung was unending and he believed that the male would be okay eventually, that he will come back to him. So despite his heart being almost hollow, in pain of seeing the lifeless body of his love, Daehwi promised himself that the night on the emergency room would be the last time that he would cry. That no matter how painful it is for him, he would keep his smile and wait for Jinyoung to come back.

Days turned into weeks; weeks turned into months. As if in a heartbeat, that fateful winter night had turned everything green as Spring and Summer arrived, followed by the redness of Autumn. In all honesty, it was suffocating, staying inside the room with white reigning the theme and digital beeping sounds making up for the unbearable silence, but Daehwi didn’t care. It had already been a year and there’s still no sign of life showing. Daehwi had seen the transition of every matter from the small window of the hospital room. Everything had gradually changed except for Jinyoung, but he never lost hope. Despite feeling pain from the sight of Jinyoung’s comatosed body, Daehwi would never stop believing no matter how long it takes.

_So beautiful_

_You’re more beautiful than anyone else_

_If you can hear this song for you_

_Come back to me_

He could only pray, hoping that this torture will be over and everything will be back to normal. Normal where Jinyoung’s smile was bright, normal where his eyes were shining. Normal where the two of them held each other, warmth and contentment filling their hearts.

Daehwi believed that it will happen. Daehwi believed that Jinyoung will come back to him.

And as if the almighty heard his prayers, something moved. Something changed.

Right in front of him, the deep dark orbs he had been longing to see finally appeared. The deep, coarse voice he had been longing to hear had finally returned.

But instead of being delighted, instead of being rid of all the pain and hurting he had been feeling all this time, it only heightened.

“Who… who are you?”

Daehwi’s face went pale as his heart started racing. _No, it can’t be…_

“Daehwi, we’re back!” the perky voice of Woojin suddenly filled the atmosphere as he and Jihoon emerged from the door. “Jihoon and I got your favorite—“ Woojin stopped in his tracks, dropping the paper bags in his hands as he saw Jinyoung staring back at him. “Oh my God.”

“Babe, what’s the matter?” Jihoon asked, following after his boyfriend only to be ignored when Woojin immediately ran towards the patient, tackling him into a hug.

“Jinyoung! You’re back—“

However, with much effort, Jinyoung abruptly ducked away from the male’s hold, pushing him helplessly. “W-whoa, wait!” he exclaimed. Upon catching sight of Jihoon’s equally astonished face, his face lightened up. “Jihoon! Who are these people?! Where’s mom and dad?!” Seeing Jinyoung’s violent reaction, Woojin detached himself from the boy and looked at Daehwi in confusion.

“Daehwi, what’s going on?”

Daehwi grabbed ahold of Jinyoung’s hands tightly. “Jinyoung, love,” Daehwi spoke as calmly as possible, his glossy eyes staring right onto Jinyoung’s puzzled ones. “I-it’s me… Daehwi…”

Daehwi’s hands were trembling, his whole body becoming engulfed in fear.

_No, please…_

Jinyoung’s brows furrowed as he looked back at Daehwi, the uneasiness apparent on his face. “Sorry, I…” Jinyoung trailed off, grabbing hold of Daehwi’s hands weakly. “I don’t know you…” He then carefully pushed Daehwi’s hands away from his, before losing consciousness.

Silenced ensued. The world stopped. Everything became null.

At that moment, Daehwi’s heart had lost its life.

 

-

 

Holding a polaroid photo in his hands, Daehwi’s tears continued to fall. Written on the front was an ‘I love you’ – the words he had long wanted to hear from his lover again.

But it was impossible now. Especially when his lover didn’t even know that he had one.

Daehwi didn’t think that the sorrow he felt when Jinyoung was hospitalized could amount to nothing. He thought that his heart couldn’t take any more hurting back then, but that pain was nothing compared to how he was feeling as of the moment. He felt lost, as if his heart and soul were gone into nothingness. The redness of his eyes wouldn’t disappear as his tears continued to flow. Every single thing that he saw somehow managed to bring tears in his eyes for every single one of them just reminded him of his lover.

The moment they first met, Jinyoung had become Daehwi’s world.

And knowing that the male had forgotten him, Daehwi had lost everything.

According to the attending doctor, Jinyoung’s brain secondary took the most damage as his head hit the ground first. Because of this injury, he developed a severe selective amnesia where it affected his memory for the past two years. Meaning, all of the events that happened, all the people that he met for the past two years were forgotten. After running various tests, they found out that Jinyoung could only remember up to the night when he crashed into his parents’ car.

At this point in time, Daehwi didn’t even try to control his emotions anymore. On his exact birthday, Jinyoung final woke up, but he couldn’t even be happy about it. He couldn’t even celebrate. From the day that Jinyoung woke up, Daehwi didn’t go back to the hospital. For two whole weeks, the places that he had only been to were the university and dorms. The people around him worried a lot as very much unlike before where he was always shining like the sun, he was now practically the epitome of depression. It was to an extent that he even lost a few pounds due to lack of appetite. Then again, how can he eat when he had no idea on what to do? It had already been 2 weeks since he last saw Jinyoung and all he heard from Jihoon was, ever since he learned of what really happened to his parents, Jinyoung had begun to hate himself again.

And that fact saddened Daehwi even more, especially since he can feel the pain Jinyoung was undergoing too. He had already pulled Jinyoung out of his self-hatred and then suddenly, everything went back to square one. It’s not about just being forgotten anymore, actually. The fact that Jinyoung had gone to the dark again was too much that Daehwi can feel it too. His and Jinyoung’s emotions were both on the deepest pits.

Daehwi wanted to come back to him, to comfort Jinyoung and protect him from everything.

Yet no matter how much he wanted to do so, he couldn’t for Jinyoung himself didn’t want to do anything with him.

“It’s been two weeks since you last visited him.” Daehwi suddenly heard Woojin’s voice, his figure slowly approaching the bed where Daehwi was. “Are you really okay with this?” Daehwi didn’t respond and just stayed still, staring at the picture in his hands with the moon light shining from the window as his only source of light. “Daehwi, I know it’s hard… but you can’t keep mistreating yourself like this. I can’t keep lying to your parents too, about why you haven’t been answering their calls.”

Wiping his tear stained cheeks, Daehwi squeaked, “Hyung, I… I don’t know what to do…” he breathed heavily, trying to calm himself amidst the harsh beating of his heart. “I didn’t think it would hurt this much… I want to go there, to stay with Jinyoung, to be with him, but…” he closed his eyes shut, choking up on his own tears. “but how can I when he doesn’t even remember me?”

Plopping himself right beside Daehwi, Woojin wiped the boy’s tears and said, “Just because he doesn’t remember you doesn’t mean that you can’t be with him.”

“Hyung, you saw it that day!” Daehwi sat up, staring at his cousin anxiously. “Jinyoung pushed my hand away! He didn’t want to be with me!”

“Didn’t Jinyoung avoid you initially too?” Hearing this, Daehwi fell silent. “Jinyoung tried his best to avoid you, but you still got together, right? That’s because you confronted him.” Woojin said firmly. “That’s because you never gave up on him.”

Daehwi was stumped. His eyebrows scrunching, Daehwi mumbled, “but this time it’s different… Jinyoung doesn’t remember me anymore…”

“Then make him remember. Make him remember the love he lost.” Resting both of his hands on Daehwi’s shoulders, Woojin squeezed them tightly. “This is not the Daehwi I know. The Daehwi that I know never gives up, especially when it comes to the people that he loves.” He then broke out into a small smile. “You got Jinyoung before, who’s to say that you can’t do it this time?”

Woojin wasn’t the type of hyung that always gave him words of advice. Usually, he just listens and Jihoon would be doing the talking. But when he does talk, there was never a time that Daehwi never listened to him. Woojin knew him since birth, he knew Daehwi’s deepest and darkest secrets. He knew exactly the words to say to Daehwi, to ease him a bit from his worries, if not all of it.

Before Jinyoung came, there was Jihoon. Before Jihoon came, there was Guanlin.

But above anybody else, there was Woojin, and Daehwi can’t and won’t ever forget that.

Following after his cousin’s words, the next day, Daehwi woke up and washed himself early in the morning. After almost a month of no contact, Daehwi knew better than to make his parents worry with him looking like a homeless person. Being their only son, Daehwi knew how worried his parents must be so he deemed that grooming himself again would be best.

And besides, he wouldn’t want to take his chances when he’s about to do an important negotiation with them.

“My son, I missed you so much!” Mrs. Lee’s voice filled the room as her face suddenly appeared on Daehwi’s phone screen. “Are you doing well? Woojin said that you were too busy with university.”

“Yes, mom, our exams just ended yesterday. Sorry for not calling you earlier.” Daehwi pouted, batting his eyelashes in the process, causing for his mom to chuckle.

“It’s okay, son. I perfectly understand.” She then asked, “how’s Jinyoung, by the way? It’s been a long time since we last spoke to him.”

Daehwi felt himself having a cold sweat. He didn’t expect for his mom to ask about Jinyoung so soon. Then again, she had always been fond of the male despite not having met him in person yet, the moment Daehwi decided to introduce him to his parents even just through video call.

“Uhh… where’s dad though?” Daehwi answered with another question, his mind going disarray at the sudden query of his mother.

“Oh he’s on the way home now actually.” Mrs. Lee answered, looking back at the wall clock of their living room. “Why? Did you want to talk to him about something?”

“Uh… well… I wanted to talk to you two about something actually…” Daehwi said slowly, choosing his words carefully as he tried hard to keep his composure. He then heard a sound of door opening and closing in the background shortly, as his father’s face appeared beside his mom.

“Son, it’s been a while! How have you been?!” Mr. Lee shouted, waving from the screen. He never was good with gadgets so he always tended to shout when it comes to phone calls and video calls, reasoning that he wasn’t sure if the other party could hear him. Seeing his gesture, Mrs. Lee quickly slapped his hand away, telling him that he was being too loud and that Daehwi can perfectly hear him. 

Although contrary to her statement, Daehwi could barely hear them as he was too distracted with his nervousness. Feigning laughter, Daehwi answered, “Welcome back, dad. Exams just ended yesterday so right now we’re on a short break.”

“You came right on time since Daehwi wanted to talk to us about something.” Mrs. Lee told her husband as they both looked back at the screen.

“What is it about, son?”

Daehwi swallowed hard, ignoring the cold sweat that was trickling at his temples and mustering up his courage. _It’s now or never._

“Mom, dad, I’m planning on taking a break from university for the next semester.”

 

-

 

It looked ridiculous, moping and sulking for two whole weeks, refusing to visit Jinyoung and then all of a sudden, there he was, just outside of the latter’s hospital room. But what can he do? Despite trying his best to ignore the pain he was feeling, he just can’t for his longing for Jinyoung was much more. Immediately after contacting his parents, Daehwi went straight to the hospital where Jinyoung was admitted. He was excited, thrilled to see Jinyoung again after two whole weeks that seemed like decades. Despite his eagerness however, his nervousness was on the verge of overshadowing everything else.

_What if he hates me? What if he pushes me away again? What if he never talks to me again?_

Various thoughts invaded Daehwi’s mind, only heightening the anxiety he was feeling. If it was for another person, he would definitely back out and just try again the next day.

But it was Jinyoung.

_My world, my everything, my love._

Drowning out his own thoughts with that of Woojin’s words, ‘ _Make him remember. Make him remember the love he lost.’,_ he didn’t even need to think twice before entering the said room, a smile brighter than the sun plastered on his equally determined face.

“I’m back Jinyoung-hyung, how are you feeling?” Daehwi greeted, closing the door behind him carefully as he saw Jinyoung’s stunned face.

“You again,” the male said, recognizing the face he saw when he first woke up. “You were here when I woke up… Daehwi, right? What are you doing here?” His eyes were stark against Daehwi’s clear ones as he questioned.

 _He remembered…_ Daehwi felt a tug at his heartstrings, having to hear his name rolling off from Jinyoung’s lips. After a long time of waiting, he can finally hear him again. His voice was still coarse and deep, still sounding like harmony to Daehwi’s ears.

Daehwi stared at Jinyoung, observing how rigid his deep brown orbs were, how his slightly tanned skin had become pale, how his small thin lips were now dried and chapped. Jinyoung still looked frail, as if just touching him would cause him to shatter, but in Daehwi’s eyes, he still looked beautiful. No matter how much he had changed during the course of his long slumber, he was still the only one that managed to enthrall Daehwi.

Putting on a small smile, Daehwi approached Jinyoung, stopping just beside his bed to put down some of his stuff on the bedside table. “From now on, I’ll be taking care of you.”

Jinyoung squinted his eyes, as if he heard wrong. “What? Are you serious? I already told you that I don’t know you.”

“Then from now on, you should get to know me.” Daehwi deadpanned. “I already cut down the units I’m going to take for the next semester to half so you’ll be seeing me a lot from now on.”

Daehwi’s parents were saddened upon hearing what happened to Jinyoung. Mrs. Lee was even disappointed at Daehwi for not telling them about it sooner. Despite them not meeting in person yet, Mrs. Lee had taken a great liking towards Jinyoung, to an extent where she already calls him son, just like how Mrs. Bae calls Daehwi. She and Mr. Lee understood why Daehwi had wanted to take a break from university. However, to them, his education was still the most important.

Daehwi had already expected this – being their only son. He was about to negotiate with them on just lessening his units instead, but he didn’t even need to bring it up as Mrs. Lee had suggested the idea to him. That way, he can focus more on Jinyoung without actually having to stop from school. Mr. Lee didn’t oppose the idea and instead, just gave Daehwi his blessings.

_“Son, take good care of Jinyoung. We know that you two need each other the most right now. I will always pray for you two to be happy again.”_

“Don’t joke with me—“

“I am serious, Jinyoung.”

“Why are you even doing this?” Jinyoung asked, not even bothering to hide the frustration on his face. “If you’re doing this because you’re pitying me, then stop. You’re only wasting your time.”

Daehwi grabbed Jinyoung’s hand carefully, looking for any signs of retaliation, but the male never showed any. Realizing this, Daehwi loosened up, his eyes forming into crescents as he smiled. “It’s because I love you.”

Stunned with the boy’s confession, Jinyoung’s breathing hitched. “W-what are you saying? I think you’re already aware that my family’s broken because of me, so don’t be stupid and stop saying nonsense.” Jinyoung choked as he was reminded of the reality, his apprehension coursing through Daehwi as well.  “You can’t be happy with me—“

“Don’t you even dare telling me that crap twice. Seriously, you might’ve forgotten about me but that side of yours still didn’t change.” Daehwi cut the male off, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “But no matter how many times it’s needed, I will always keep telling you that _you_ are my happiness.” He tightened his hold on Jinyoung, stroking his hand with his thumb lovingly, their eyes never leaving each other. “ _You_ are my world, my everything… so no matter how much you push me away, no matter how many times you forget me… I will always make you remember.” Daehwi brought Jinyoung’s hand to his lips, sealing his unconditional and undying love with a kiss. “I won’t ever stop from loving you.”

_This foolishly regret-filled song_

_I hope it reaches the sky_

_My prayer that looked at you all night_

_I hope it reaches your heart_


	8. Jinyoung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heart does not forget what the mind does.  
> Finale - WING WING WING WING WING -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for only updating this now. I've been busy with my other fics that I had taken this for granted huhuh  
> but good news, this chapter is one long ass chapter HOOOOOO  
> I didn't want to add another chapter so I just put in everything here lol
> 
> JUST IN TIME FOR WANNA ONE'S COMEBACK! WING WING WING WING WING BOOMERANG  
> I wanted to wait for their release but gdi I need to earn money to buy their album.  
> If only my boss cancels work late lol
> 
> I just wanted to post this before their comeback hehe  
> Okay enjoy!

Jinyoung wasn’t lying when he said that he’ll only make Daehwi’s life miserable.

It’s true, he knew it himself that all he causes to other people is trouble. Just look at what happened to his parents, one is dead and the other one was left crippled. Jinyoung didn’t even want to think about it, but just the mere sight of their picture, of his mom, of every single thing, reminds him of the very question that he had been asking himself all this time.

_Why am I still alive?_

It was so ironic how he had already been into two accidents yet he’s still there, alive and breathing. Then again, a small voice at the back of his head kept on whispering to him that there’s a reason for him to still be alive. Jinyoung was so sure that it was so that he would be punished for his sins. One of them being that a fragment of his memories had always been missing.

It would’ve been fine with Jinyoung if he was the only one that would suffer from the said punishment, but knowing that there were other people affected by it, the remorse is so much. What makes is worse is he had no recollection of his relation with those people nor how he became the reason why they were miserable. He was just sure that it was because of him.

Especially Daehwi. The moment Jinyoung laid his eyes on him, he actually thought he was dead for an angel was talking to him (the only reason he realized that he was still alive was because he knew that if he really were to die, he’d probably be in hell). With his soft brown hair and bright eyes, Daehwi was the shooting star of his dark and stark night.

Much like how he had always been dazed the whole duration of his sleep. For the whole year that he had been in a slumber, there was only one person who had kept appearing in his dreams. And despite of his face being clouded into a blur, Jinyoung was a hundred percent sure that it was the same person who he first saw upon waking up. _Lee Daehwi._

Jinyoung watched as the boy in particular move about the hospital room, fixing all of the clothes that Jinyoung had changed out of. He just had a quick shower that morning in preparation for his daily therapy session. For the past six months, he had been undergoing physical therapy. Being in a state of coma for a whole entire year had taken a toll on his body – having no physical movement nor exercise – that he even had to use a walker for walking within a few meters for the first few days since he woke up.

Fortunately, the therapies worked and Jinyoung’s body was now back to its original healthy state. If it were just him deciding, he didn’t really want to attend the sessions any longer since he knew it in himself that he didn’t need them anymore. But Mrs. Bae wanted to be sure of everything that he was really back to normal. Being that it was Mrs. Bae’s request, Jinyoung didn’t say anything anymore.

“Hyung, your therapy session will be in half an hour.” Daehwi reminded, checking the time on his phone. “Don’t worry, I’ll be accompanying you today too.” He smiled.  

“Don’t you have classes today?”

“I have one in the afternoon, but it’s okay. I can make it just on time.”

“You don’t have to keep on coming with me, you know…” Jinyoung said softly, almost inaudible if not for the silence of the room. “I can handle myself perfectly now.”

“But I want to though?” Daehwi tilted his head playfully. “Jinyoung-hyung, by now you should be aware that I don’t really listen to you. Seriously, how many times have you told me that?”

Jinyoung closed his eyes with a sigh, ignoring the heavy beating of his heart. It was true, Daehwi never did listen to him. From the second time that they saw each other, when Daehwi _confessed_ his love for Jinyoung, the former hadn’t left his side. He never failed to visit Jinyoung at the hospital every single day. Despite having been ignored by Jinyoung initially and having been pushed away, Daehwi was never fazed and kept pushing himself into his life.

Jinyoung didn’t know him at all. He couldn’t relate any memories that he had with the boy, so hearing the boy himself confess his love and promise, surprised would’ve been an understatement. He was utterly shocked, unable to fully comprehend the situation. It wasn’t every day that a stranger would confess to you, let alone kiss your hand and make you feel all sorts of emotions at once.

However, even if he wanted to be creeped out by the action, his heart had strangely felt at peace.

He had asked Jihoon who Daehwi was, or how he was related to the boy. All Jihoon told him was that he was one of their juniors in college and also the cousin of his boyfriend, Woojin, who he was introduced to the day after he woke up. In regards to their relationship, Jihoon just gave him a sad smile and said, _“Just know that Daehwi loves you, even more than you love yourself.”_

It was so confusing how someone could even love him, much more so how someone as colorful as Daehwi could treasure him – a monochromatic soul. Jinyoung can see it, the sliver of pain that was hidden underneath the smile that Daehwi always wore. Daehwi never said anything, but there are times when he would just hold onto Jinyoung’s hand when he thought that the male was asleep, gripping onto his hand as if afraid of letting go. His eyes would glisten, but he never cried. Instead, he would just look back at Jinyoung with a bright smile as if saying that he was fine.

On the contrary, Jinyoung knew that he was far from fine. Amidst the brightness, there was hint of desperation in him. He couldn’t explain it for he has no idea at all how it’s happening, but for some reason, every time he looks at Daehwi, he would feel his heart clench. Even just a hint of his misery seemingly reaching him. Yet at the same time, with just a look in the eye, Daehwi also makes him feel at peace. Ever since knowing of what happened to his parents, Jinyoung had only seen black, his world engulfed in utter desolation. But when Daehwi came back to him, taking care of him without any inhibitions, Jinyoung found his life slowly being colored by the different shades of the boy. The agony he had was greatly lessened and he had slowly come to accept of what happened. To Daehwi, his smile might be a small thing, but to Jinyoung, it was a smile that held a lot of meaning. Daehwi’s smile was as colorful as the sunset, vermillion rays warming up the blues of his heart and reminding him of the calmness of night.

Daehwi’s smile reminded him of the hope and chances of the next days to come, of the trust and acceptance that he was unconditionally willing to give.

Daehwi’s smile made Jinyoung feel like no matter what happens, at the end of each day, he still has a home to come back to.

Sure enough, he was still grieving, but with Daehwi’s presence, everything becomes bearable and will seemingly be okay. _Everything will be fine._

“A-are you... are you going to be here next week too?” Jinyoung cleared his throat, finding the right words to say. “I’m going to be discharged next week so there’s no need for you to keep coming here…”

Jinyoung didn’t really mean his words and he sure as hell wasn’t convincing when he said them for Daehwi just rolled his eyes in response. “We’re just the same, we don’t really listen to each other. I am and will keep on coming here because I want to, and not even you can stop me.”

Jinyoung found himself smiling, but quickly retracted it and turned away from Daehwi’s amused gaze. Jinyoung didn’t know if Daehwi saw him but even if he did, the boy never said anything and just continued folding his clothes.

Jinyoung didn’t want to admit it, but during the course of the few months that Daehwi had entered his life, he had actually began to look forward to seeing the boy every day. He didn’t exactly know  when and how it started but it was like he had suddenly become a part of his daily routine that even just the boy arriving five minutes late after his designated daily arrival manages to give Jinyoung a sense of insecurity.

Jinyoung knew that he was being selfish. He didn’t deserve receiving so much love from the boy, but he still couldn’t deny it in himself that he wanted more. He knew that he would only cause Daehwi pain and harm, if not now then in the future, much like how he did to his parents, but he couldn’t find it in himself to actually reject the male (being that the boy was a walking ball of sunshine, Jinyoung thinks that nobody can either). And the fact that Daehwi never listened to him every time he would try to push him away didn’t really help either.

So finally getting discharged from the hospital and there’s no chestnut brown headed boy in sight, Jinyoung didn’t know how to feel. All of a sudden, Daehwi had stopped coming to the hospital for a whole week without any message whatsoever. A part of him was worried that something might’ve happened to the boy, but the disappointment was so much more. Actually, Jinyoung didn’t know if he’s even allowed to feel such emotions. It’s not like the boy has any obligations to be there, and Jinyoung himself was the one who told him that he didn’t need to come. Surely, there’s nothing wrong with Daehwi being suddenly absent for a week.

“What? Is the cold and dark Bae Jinyoung missing our precious little sunshine Lee Daehwi?”

Jinyoung wanted to slap Woojin but he wasn’t too comfortable with doing that to the male just yet. Sure, Woojin has known him for a long time now but Jinyoung, on the other hand, can’t remember him still, being that they first met right when Jinyoung started college – which was just after the accident of his parents (according to Jihoon). Also, he realized that it probably wouldn’t be the best idea since Woojin was driving. He just got discharged from the hospital and since he didn’t want his mom to have a hard time (and Daehwi was obviously still not around), Jihoon and Woojin took it upon themselves to help him with the process.

“Awww, isn’t that sweet—Ow! What was that for?!” Jihoon howled in pain after Jinyoung flicked his forehead.

“I’m just curious… that kid had a perfect attendance at the hospital so it’s just kind of weird for him to suddenly be gone.” Seeing the smug look on both Jihoon and Woojin’s faces, Jinyoung cleared his throat before turning away to the window, opting to take comfort in watching the streets pass by. “I’m just afraid something might’ve happened to him or…  something.”

“That’s double something, bro, you must really be worried.” Woojin chuckled as the car slowly came to a halt upon arriving in front of Jinyoung’s house.

“Let him be. Come on, we’re here.” Jihoon quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and went to the back of the car to unload the trunk, followed by both Jinyoung and Woojin. Jinyoung only had few things in the hospital so it didn’t take long before all of his baggage were down.

“Sorry, we can’t stay longer. We have to go back to the campus for the Dance Org’s MT.” Woojin sighed, rumbling inaudibly about why he had to be the org’s president.

Jinyoung laughed inwardly to this, knowing perfectly well that Jihoon was the one behind everything. “It’s okay. You helped a lot already.”

“You know we would anytime.”

“Woojin’s right. You should stop worrying so much and ease off a little, Jinyoung-ah.” Jihoon squeezed the younger’s shoulder before giving him his signature wink – one that always managed to make Jinyoung cringe. “And don’t worry about Daehwi. You’ll see him soon enough.”

“It’s not like that—“

“Bye Jinyoung! We’ll stay longer next time! Say hi to aunty for us!” Jinyoung couldn’t even retort for the two lovebirds had already zoomed back to the road. He wasn’t complaining though, it was already half past 7 and they still had to go back to campus. The least he would want is to keep them any longer.

Pulling his trolley, Jinyoung adjusted his backpack to enter the gate code. It didn’t dawn to him however, that he had no idea what their gate code is until he saw the numbers on the keypad. He was about to ring the doorbell when the front door suddenly opened.

“Jinyoung-hyung?”

Jinyoung felt as if he had forgotten how to breathe, coming in face to face with the boy he had been longing to see for the past week. “W-why—how—what—“ He gulped, unbelieving of the sight in front of him.

Only the face of Mrs. Bae grounded him back to reality, her voice resonating in the background. “Son, is that you?”

“Mom, what’s Daehwi doing here?” Jinyoung asked, not noticing how the boy had already took both his back pack and luggage from him.

“I forgot to tell you, Daehwi will stay here with us from now on.” Mrs. Bae declared, causing for Jinyoung to stop in his tracks. “Since Daehwi’s always at the hospital with you anyway, wouldn’t it be more convenient for him to just stay here with us? That way he wouldn’t have to pay for dorm rent too. Since you stopped school, he had to shoulder the dorm room fees all by himself.”

Gripping tight on his mother’s wheelchair, Jinyoung saw Daehwi coming back from the front door with a hesitant smile.

“We were actually moving my things from the dorm to your house for the past week that’s why I haven’t been able to come. Sorry if I didn’t tell you anything… I wanted it to be a surprise.” It was a damn surprise alright, and Jinyoung still couldn’t find it in himself to actually take everything in, unsure whether he was dreaming or not. Seeing Daehwi first thing in the morning, and last thing at night, seeing his raw form, knowing of all the things that he hadn’t discovered until now, the idea made Jinyoung’s heart go into a frenzy, his thoughts at all places.

“B-but if you’re uncomfortable with the idea, I can just continue staying at the dorm and move back with Woojin-hyung—“

“No, don’t.” Jinyoung’s hand immediately gripped Daehwi’s wrist, uncaring of the startled countenance of the boy, of the white hot burning sensation that was dancing along his fingertips. He didn’t know what made him say it, or what he’s honestly feeling right now. His thoughts were in haywire. He was just saying everything based on his instincts and he might have no filter on his mouth at that moment, but none of it actually mattered.

Jinyoung was just sure that he had missed Daehwi and he wants nothing but for him to, “Stay.”

 

-

 

“Hyung,”

Jinyoung groaned, feeling his body being shaken. Fluttering his eyes open, he was greeted by Daehwi’s gentle smile. “Jinyoung-hyung, I’m going now. I already cooked breakfast for you and Mrs. Bae so please eat first then just continue sleeping after.”

Jinyoung sat up slowly and stared as the boy nibbled his bottom lip in thought, his fingers tapping unconsciously on his thighs. _Cute…_ “Where are you going?” he asked.

“I have class today…” Daehwi was already jogging in place, glancing on his wristwatch simultaneously.

For some reason, Jinyoung wanted to ask more. What subject he has for the day, what time he’s coming back home, does he have a class for tomorrow – anything just to prolong their conversation. Although looking as how restless Daehwi was, Jinyoung deemed that he was already late and he didn’t really want the boy to get in trouble. Giving him a nod, Jinyoung stood up and pushed him gently out of the room. “Okay, off you go now.” He patted the younger one’s shoulder before waving him off. “Be careful.”

With a wide grin, Daehwi held his backpack and ran but not without waving back as well. “I’ll be back early!”

Jiyoung smiled, smelling the fragrant smell of freshly roasted sausages and eggs from the kitchen. Just like the usual, he went to his mom’s bedroom to wake her up as they started their breakfast together.

It had almost been two months since Daehwi started living at their house and Jinyoung couldn’t deny how he had greatly appreciated the new addition to their household. Daehwi was the living embodiment of the sun, his bright and lively character radiating everywhere he went, attracting everyone he comes into contact with and Jinyoung wasn’t an exception. He thought that he would have to adjust, suddenly living with someone new, but since the day Daehwi started living there, he never really felt any different. He’s thinking that it was due to the fact that when he was still at the hospital, Daehwi had also been there and never left his side.

It was like they just continued the arrangement they had before, except now, he didn’t need to eat the excruciating hospital food and instead, relish in the warmth of Daehwi’s cooking. Jinyoung didn’t expect much the first time Daehwi cooked for him and his mom, but it would be understated if he said that Daehwi was a good cook. Even if most of the time, it was Mrs. Bae who taught him recipes, Jinyoung still believed that Daehwi had a knack for cooking.

And it wasn’t also cooking. Daehwi turned out to be a great teacher as well.

Since it was already too late for Jinyoung to enroll for the second semester, he decided to sit out the remaining semester and just enroll in the next. Coincidentally, Mrs. Bae was also thinking of the same thing since she wanted Jinyoung to recuperate as much as possible before going back to university.

Despite not enrolled however, Jinyoung still wanted to refresh his mind with school. He had been in a long break so suddenly going back to university without any background would certainly not be a good idea since he wasn’t really the brightest student there is – admittedly – and being the angel that he is, Daehwi volunteered himself to supervise him. Sure, Daehwi was younger than him and the boy was his college junior, but technically, he was already in a higher year than Jinyoung now (and undeniably a lot smarter) so he didn’t really have any reason to refuse. Although most of the time they would end up getting distracted, resulting to just watching movies together. Daehwi still proved to be a great teacher, nonetheless, seeing as Jinyoung can now actually understand his notes when he was still in school.

And before Jinyoung can even realize it, getting woke up by Daehwi and eating his home cooked breakfast, seeing him off to school and waiting for him to come back, studying together for an hour and watching movies together for the remainder of the night (and sometimes even ending up sleeping together on the couch), everything had suddenly seemed so domestic. Daehwi and Jinyoung had suddenly become so close that everything felt so natural now, as if they had been this way all along. And contrary to how he had expected everything before, he never felt anything strange with it. Rather, he felt as if their situation was how it always should have been.

This roused a part of him to wonder what his real relationship with Daehwi was before. But the real turning point was when later that evening, he had the greatest shock of his life (or according to what he can only remember).

“Beautiful, beautiful, you are—“ Jinyoung opened the bathroom but stopped in his tracks upon realizing that it was occupied. 

Blinking, he rubbed his eyes to see if he was dreaming since right in front of him was Daehwi in the showers, staring right back at him with the same unreadable expression. Pinching his thigh, Jinyoung eventually howled in pain as his eyes widened. “OH SHIT—SORRY, I’M NOT—“ he stuttered, turning to his back and slamming the door.

_You are more beautiful than anybody else._

Ever since moving in that house when he was younger, Jinyoung had found that bathroom to be quite normal. Upon entering university though, he realized that the bathroom was very strange since instead of having a frosted glass for the shower cubicle, it has a clear one – very clear, to be precise. Usually, it would be a frosted glass so that two or more people can use the bathroom at the same time (this he learned when he started dorming in college). Although living at their house for almost his whole life, Jinyoung never really complained since he was usually the only one who used it (his parents had their own bathroom inside their bedroom).

However, it had proven to be a great nuisance now since he wasn’t the only one using the said bathroom. Then again, he couldn’t really complain. Daehwi had been exhausted from his classes so it was only understandable that he would forget to lock the door. Jinyoung, on the other hand, was just plain careless. It was his fault for being so sudden, for being so inattentive. It was his fault for being so fascinated, for being so enthralled, for being so captivated by the pale and fair skin— _no Bae Jinyoung, you did not see anything._

“Jinyoung-hyung.”

Jinyoung flinched as he hastily turned to his back and saw Daehwi drying his hair.

“Daehwi, I’m so, so, sorry.” Jinyoung blurted out. “I didn’t mean to—“

“It’s totally fine, silly.” Daehwi said nonchalantly. “It’s not like we’ve never seen each other like that before.”

Jinyoung blinked, looking like a deer caught in headlights. “I’m sorry… I just—“ he paused, unsure of his words. “I just still can’t remember anything…”

Daehwi dropped his hand and tugged on the sleeve of Jinyoung’s shirt. “It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember,” he then smiled gently, a slight tinge of rose blooming in his cheeks. “As long as I can stay with you… I’m fine with everything.”

Jinyoung wasn’t sure if the blush on Daehwi’s cheeks were from the warmth of the bathroom. On the contrary, he’s sure that his wasn’t. It was from an entirely new feeling budding in his chest, one that was soaring at an alarming speed and causing him to feel various kinds of emotions from within.

It was so incomprehensible how Daehwi, despite of all of Jinyoung’s shortcomings and faults, still accepted him and wanted to be with him. He was forgotten, he was erased from Jinyoung’s memories, yet that still didn’t hinder him from staying, from continuing to pour endless love without getting anything in return.

But it’s not like Jinyoung didn’t feel anything for the boy. Jinyoung himself just wasn’t sure what it exactly was. He thought of the possibility that it might only be sympathy, that he was only guilty of causing pain for the innocent Daehwi. However, the next day when had tried to bring a packed lunch box to Daehwi at the university, but was instead met with a scene of the boy hugging someone, he realized then and there that it wasn’t just sympathy. Jinyoung realized then and there that his feelings weren’t just one for friendship and brotherhood. It was entirely more than that.

Upon catching sight of Daehwi in the arms of another man, a dark and repulsive emotion rose within him, insisting him to push the man away and claim what was rightfully his.

_But Daehwi is not mine to begin with._

The moment he woke up from his long slumber, he knew that he had no right to have Daehwi. Jinyoung knew it in himself that he can’t be selfish, that despite falling for him, despite harboring such great emotions for the boy, he can’t have him.

Yet no matter how hard he tried to stop it, no matter how hard he tried to control his emotions, he just couldn’t keep himself away from him.

And at the same time when he finally decided to let himself free, to accept his love for Daehwi, the harsh reality never fails to make him realize that he was too late, that the boy was already someone else’s.

After fleeing away from the university gates, just when he was about to go back home and drown himself in his sorrows, Jinyoung coincidentally bumped into Woojin who just got out from his last class for the day. Having been drained from all the midterm exams he had for the whole day, Woojin, despite Jinyoung’s polite rejections, decided to drag him out to the park so they can eat lunch. Woojin didn’t even ask who the lunch box was for; he just suddenly realized that it was a fine day for eating out with someone else’s food. Not that Jinyoung minded nonetheless, since at least the lunch box he packed didn’t go to waste.

And spending almost the whole afternoon just chatting with Woojin, Jinyoung actually felt a lot better. It was as if Woojin knew that Jinyoung was down that all he talked about was his classes, his organization, even nonsensical stuff such as the blueness of the sky and how photosynthesis works. Jinyoung couldn’t remember how their relationship was for the past two years, but he was pretty sure that they must’ve gotten along well.

Although he had guessed too soon. Just when he thought that Woojin was his savior from the depression that was once again awaiting him, the male’s phone suddenly rang.

“Jihoon-ah, I’m with Jinyoung right now—“ Woojin answered the phone as Jinyoung only stared at the sky that had already turned tangerine from the sunset. After a couple of idle moments later, the call ended and Woojin stood up from their comfy position on the park bench. “I need to go. Jihoon was told by our seniors to make a reservation for the barbecue place and he wants me to go there with him.”

Being that it was the last day for their exams, the arts department was having another barbecue night out. The seniors of the said department – Seongwoo, Daniel, Jaehwan, and Minhyun – wouldn’t let anybody skip it. Knowing of this, Jinyoung didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. Relieved because he won’t be seeing Daehwi tonight and be reminded of his newfound feelings for him; disappointed because he won’t be seeing Daehwi tonight and eat dinner with him and study and just basically spend time with him.

But the moment Woojin spoke, he realized that he had, once again, spoken too soon.

“I’m sorry for suddenly leaving you when I was the one who dragged you here.” Woojin said as Jinyoung only shook his head as a sign of reassurance. “Anyway, I know you went to the campus to see Daehwi—“ Jinyoung choked. Was he that obvious? “So might as well do me a favor and bring him to the dinner later. He probably forgot about it already with all of the exams we’re having.”

“B-but—“ Jinyoung swallowed nervously. “But I’m not going—“

“Who says you’re not?”

“I’m not enrolled…”

“And so? You’re just on a break, you fool, and I’m sure the hyungs will be happy to see you again.” Woojin patted his shoulder before giving off a sly smirk. “Just thank me later for this. I’m sure Daehwi will be thrilled.”

Before Jinyoung can even retort and tell Woojin how he was making things harder for him, the boy had already sped off into the opposite direction. Which is why after a few minutes, Jinyoung, despite himself, found his feet slowly approaching the library where Daehwi was supposedly, proving Woojin’s claims true.

_“Today’s the last day of exams but he forgot to submit a paper on time so he’s at the library for sure.”_

Although contrary to Woojin’s words, Daehwi wasn’t working on a paper. Rather, with all the papers scattered around him on the table where he was situated, it looked like the boy already used up all of his energy for the said paper and fell asleep. Fortunately, his table was hidden behind the shelves so the librarian couldn’t really see him.

Jinyoung sighed, gathering all of the boy’s things into his backpack. The boy was too careless, leaving his bag open. Then again, he was one who can easily trust people. A pure boy who can’t see any speck of black in a person no matter how big it is. An angelic boy who gives his all without wanting anything in return.

Seeing Daehwi’s sleeping form, Jinyoung had the urge to hoist him up, carry him on his back to their house and tuck him under the covers and swallow him in his warm embrace. The sight of his uncomfortable position brings an uneasiness in Jinyoung, rousing a protective and soft part of him and causing him to just drown the boy in all the warmth and love he so rightly deserve.

But Jinyoung knew that he didn’t have the privilege to do that. Not when Daehwi has someone else already.

It was ironic how he had wanted so badly to run away the moment he saw the boy earlier, and now there he was, seated right beside him, unable to tear his gaze away from him.

“During my long sleep, you were always in my dreams. Despite your face being clouded, I knew that it was you. I’m sure of it, because even back then… you never left my side.” Jinyoung stared at Daehwi, absorbing each and every detail of his serene face. “I’ve tried to push you away, to ignore you because I know that I don’t deserve you… you who brings nothing but light into my dark world. But no matter how hard I tried… I just can’t seem to detach myself from you.” He confessed.

“But I realized that there was no use in avoiding you and so I’ve tried to recall the past two years that I’ve lost, but for some reason I just couldn’t remember anything at all… though unexpectedly, I can still visualize your smile in my dreams.” Jinyoung chuckled. “It’s weird, right? I can’t remember anything but your smile… and it calms me.” Putting on a small smile, Jinyoung gently caressed Daehwi’s hair. “My heart becomes full whenever I see you even when I should still be grieving and in pain with what everything that happened. I-I… I don’t know how to explain it. Even I don’t know why my heart feels so content when I’m with you, it just… it just does.”

_I guess that’s just how it is when you love someone._

“But you have someone else now.” Saying the words felt bitter in his mouth, as if he was drinking cold medicine, except it didn’t do him any good. It only hurt him. “I may not be able to give you my full support… but I’ll pray for your happiness.” His eyes shaky, Jinyoung breathed heavily. “You deserve real happiness.”

It was on impulse, and despite his mind telling him to stop and just flee, his body had suddenly decided to have a mind of its own and before he can even register what he was doing, his lips were already on Daehwi’s. He knew that it was wrong, that he was taking advantage of the boy’s defenseless state, but he couldn’t find it in himself to feel any regret especially since it was the one thing he had unconsciously wanted to do the moment he laid his eyes on him. Instead, he trembled, feeling the warm and moist sensation of the boy’s touch. His heartbeat raced, bringing a white, hot, but calming emotion through his core.

Jinyoung wanted to hold Daehwi, to kiss him, to feel his whole being, to be healed with his mere presence. He wanted to relish in just being with him.

But he’ll end it now. The moment Jinyoung pulls away from Daehwi, he’ll have to close his heart. He’ll have to bury what feelings he has for the boy and act as if it never existed in the first place. It was hard, especially since ever since waking up, Daehwi was the only source of courage and hope he has, the only one who manages to make him feel life with just a mere smile.

_I have to do this if I want Daehwi to be happy._

“Jinyoung-hyung,”

Jinyoung backed away instantly, coming in face to face with the stunned Daehwi. He stood up suddenly, mouth agape as if trying to say something but his voice had suddenly seemed so lost that he couldn’t utter a single word.

Daehwi stood as well, the rosiness of his cheeks becoming very apparent as he carefully clutched his chest. “Jinyoung-hyung... a while ago, you—“

But since his body really had a mind of its own, Jinyoung had already ran off to the exit, blatantly ignoring the helpless shrieks of the librarian.

_Stupid Bae Jinyoung, you couldn’t even explain your actions, let alone apologize. I know you’re stupid, but I didn’t think it would be this bad._

Jinyoung was sure that the librarian must’ve already placed his name under the black list or something of that sort, but that was the least of his worries, if he was being honest. Upon arriving back at the house, he had busied himself with taking care of his mom, of helping her get ready for the night so as to forget whatever doom he was in for. It was little to no help at all actually, seeing as his mom had kept on asking where Daehwi was (and the progress of their _nonexistent_ relationship, for that matter). It was still worth a shot albeit, seeing as it had been a while since he had seen such an excited smile on his mom’s face and it, no doubt, had calmed him better than expected, making him feel a tad guilty for lying to his mom about not knowing where Daehwi was.

Well, technically, he wasn’t really lying. He did just leave him at the library anyway after completely forgetting why he went there in the first place. And because of his brain being particularly non-functional when it came to the boy, staying in his room in silence had proven to be really difficult as he didn’t know if Daehwi was still going to the barbecue party or on the way home now. For once, he had actually feared leaving his room. And the fact that he had been feeling strangely uneasy but giddy since arriving at the house and in the absolute silence of his room, his conscience’s voice had seem so loud in telling him: _Bae Jinyoung fucked up Bae Jinyoung fucked up Bae Jinyoung fucked up—_ and the tingling sensation on his lips that still lingered didn’t make things any better at all.

It was only when his phone suddenly rang that he got distracted from his newfound hobby of staring at the full moon on display at his bedroom window. Against the darkness of the room, with the moonlight as his only source of light, Jihoon’s name was bright and vivid on his phone, and seeing the name, Jinyoung almost immediately ended the call.

Then again, despite the caller’s boyfriend being the cause of Jinyoung’s paranoia, Jihoon was a different case and he can also be the answer to his and his mom’s question of Daehwi’s whereabouts. Ever so carefully pressing the answer key, the excruciatingly familiar voice of a wailing Daehwi filled his room immediately.

“Ji-Jinyoungie-hyuuung is soooooo shtupid—“ Jinyoung was relieved hearing the warm greeting from the boy. “Hyyyung! Bring me to…” A few rustles. “Bring me t-to Jinyooongie—“

“Oh God, Jinyoung, I’m so sorry about that,” Jihoon’s voice replaced Daehwi’s although he can still hear the boy slurring in the background. “Daehwi’s totally out of it right now. He’s wasted.”

“What he said was not really… wrong…” Jinyoung answered as he heard Jihoon snort. “But I didn’t admit that so you can talk shit about me. Why did you call?”

“Well, if it’s not so obvious, then I’ll spell it out for you.” Jihoon said in his most sarcastic voice ever. “PICK-UP-YOUR-WASTED-BOYFRIEND-AND-BRING-HIM-HOME.”

Jinyoung actually wanted to point out that he didn’t spell anything at all but he decided not to, knowing very well that Jihoon wouldn’t appreciate him doing so. “Daehwi’s not…” _my boyfriend._ “My responsibility.” He felt so ashamed for uttering a number of lies using the same lips that had stolen a kiss from Daehwi. He had already lied so much yet he couldn’t even deny Jihoon’s accusation as well. His mouth and soul should be rotting by now.

“Enough with the cutesy act, Bae Jinyoung. Everybody here already knows that you just kissed Daehwi at the library.” Jinyoung choked. “The boy literally announced it to everyone the moment he finished a glass of beer. The kid’s got no game but that’s what you make up for,” he can hear both Jihoon and Woojin snickering now. “About time you come around.”

Jinyoung sighed. “I’m so sorry, I took advantage of Daehwi. Please don’t let his boyfriend know—“

“Dude, are you drunk too?” Jihoon asked. “I was wondering why you didn’t come with Daehwi actually.”

“I’m not, okay?  But please just keep it as a secret from his boyfriend.”

“Really, I’m confused as fuck here. You keep on talking as if you’re not his boyfriend.”

“That’s because I’m really not.” Jinyoung rubbed his face in frustration. Jihoon wasn’t helping as he thought the male would. “Okay, maybe the guy I saw wasn’t his boyfriend… but they were clearly too close to be just friends.” Hearing no response from Jihoon, Jinyoung continued, “I saw Daehwi hugging someone this afternoon at the front gate.”

“And you immediately thought he was his boyfriend?”

“He looked so boyfriend material—tall, handsome, and a really good smile.” Jinyoung reasoned out. “He was even caressing Daehwi’s head fondly…”

“Haven’t you considered that maybe that was Minhyun-hyung? He said he met up with Daehwi earlier—oh shoot, you have amnesia.” Jihoon chuckled and Jinyoung would’ve been slightly offended with his words if not for the fact that he’s Jihoon and he must’ve had a lot to drink. “Okay, listen. The guy you saw was one of our seniors in college and he is, in no way, the boyfriend or love interest of your precious Lee Daehwi. You might not remember him but he took care of you a lot too when he was still in school.” Jihoon explained. “Don’t worry, I’ll let you remember him at another time but you really need to collect your boyfriend—“

“He’s still not my boyfriend, hyung.” Jinyoung finally denied it, a small flame of hope ignited in his heart.

“What are you waiting for then? Collect Daehwi and make him yours!”

“H-he might not reciprocate my feelings… I don’t… I don’t deserve him—“

“Stop the bullshit, Jinyoung. If Daehwi doesn’t like you, then why the fuck did he not leave you even once since you two met two years ago? Why the fuck did he stay no matter how much of a stupid dickhead you have been since you woke up from your coma?” Jihoon was almost close to screaming, but Jinyoung couldn’t care less about that now since he’s realizing that the male might actually have some point – a point he had always tried to ignore. “Nobody fucking deserves this angel, okay? But God chose you as his soulmate for some goddamn reason that nobody knows, so stop fucking doubting yourself—“ Jihoon was cut off by a loud crash that Jinyoung was pretty sure to be a bottle smashing on the ground. “Shit, just come here, you fetus face! You’re really triggering me right now! If Daehwi’s nonstop rant about how perfect you are isn’t love then I don’t know what is!”

He believed Jihoon despite him being drunk. He was uttering nonsensical things like Soulmates and what not, and if it was on any other day, Jinyoung would’ve think that he was just going nuts like usual but now, everything made sense for him. There was no proper explanation, no real justification, but maybe Jinyoung didn’t need any of those. The moment he saw Daehwi, everything was already incomprehensible enough as it is, but that didn’t stop him from falling.

Daehwi was like the colorful leaves of the tranquil autumn, like a dose of hot chocolate on a frosty winter day, like a hydrangea blooming delicately in the spring of April, like the sun rising signaling that a new summer day was ahead of him. All of his being, everything in his existence brought light, warmth, and love, making Jinyoung’s darkness seem so futile and irrelevant.

Screw his inhibitions; screw his doubts and reserves. 

What Jinyoung really needed was Daehwi and nothing else.

Jinyoung didn’t even realize that he was walking down the streets of Seoul with only a white shirt and black sweat pants. It was ten degrees that night, quite a low temperature being that it was already early spring. His mouth was emitting smoke due to the humidity, but it didn’t matter for no sooner than later did he find the coldness of the night being melted away along with his fears.

“Jinyoungie… do you know…” Daehwi whispered, head snuggled on the crook of Jinyoung’s shoulders. “You’re really stupid, hah.” The boy chuckled, breath tickling the sensitive ears of his carrier. “That was me hugging Minyon-hyong. Aigooooo, my baby Jinyoungieee is jealous, hehe.”

Adjusting his hold on Daehwi, Jinyoung hastily entered the passcode to their house gate, not wanting to stay out in the cold any longer. He can tolerate freezing his bones, but what he can’t take is the sight of Daehwi shivering in the cold. “Yeah, I know.”

“I mean, it would be… it would be a miraaaaacle if D-Daehi even so much as looks at another!” Daehwi exclaimed, flailing his arms in the air and almost falling off of Jinyoung’s back if not for the male’s quick hands.

“Shit—Daehwi, you almost fell—“

“What almost?! I already fell for Jinyongi the moment I saw him!”

Jinyoung almost choked, his face blazing red as he quickly headed towards Daehwi’s room. Letting the boy down, he was about to go to the kitchen to grab a glass of water but was stopped by a pair of hands. “What—“ His face pulled by sheer force, his lips crashed against Daehwi’s, the two of them falling on the bed with Jinyoung on top.

The kiss was kind of sloppy, their lips only touching against each other shyly but it was as if Daehwi was in a hurry that he suddenly bit Jinyoung’s bottom lip, making the boy yelp in response. This allowed Daehwi to feel him more, to slip past the chaste act. With the fight for dominance, the innocent kiss turned into an ardent one. A kiss that was laced with need, a kiss that was laced with desire.

Jinyoung felt the fireworks going off, the butterflies spreading out through his body. Daehwi’s lips felt so warm and soft and perfect on his that he felt like drowning, breathless with the sensation of him. His mind was on the brink of euphoria, and if not for the cold, teasing hands that managed to slip past under his shirt then he would’ve continued and do things he might regret. As much as he’d want to continue sinking into his burning emotions, he knew that it wasn’t the right time, especially when the boy was clearly intoxicated and almost non-functional.

“D-Daehwi, we can’t…” Jinyoung pulled away despite himself, heaving hard repeatedly as he was met by Daehwi’s hazy eyes.

“Y-yeah, we shouldn’t do this Jinyoungie-hyung.” Jinyoung felt his heart drop at Daehwi’s words, but quickly felt relief upon hearing his next words.  “Jinyoungie will get jealous again…” he frowned as his hands fell to his sides. “Daehi doesn’t want a jealous Jinyoung… although he’s really cute… and you’re also really cute… and I want to cry since I really want to kiss you right now.”

Despite the redness of his cheeks, Jinyoung burst out in laughter as he fell beside Daehwi, who frowned upon his sudden reaction, but nonetheless, turned to face him after with the same rose dusted cheeks.

“I mean, he’s… he’s… Jinyoungie’s…” Daehwi’s eyebrows were knitted, obviously having a hard time collecting his thoughts. Jinyoung just stared at him with a smile. “Jinyoungie seems so cold but he’s actually like fire, the one who melts my loneliness… his persona seems so dull, like it’s just black and white, but he’s actually like the rainbow, various colorful emotions running through him… he’s insecure about himself, but that’s because he’s selfless and only cared about others—“ Daehwi chuckled as he blinked repeatedly, obviously having a hard time fighting the drowsiness. “Even if Jinyoungie didn’t mean to, he always gave me reasons to love him… it must be because we’re soulmates… but honestly, Daehi doesn’t really care about that since I love Jinyoungie because he’s Jinyoung.” His eyes closing slowly, Daehwi’s lips tugged upwards as he whispered, “Jinyoung’s not perfect, but for me… he is.”

Jinyoung covered both him and Daehwi with the duvet. He pulled the boy closer as he wrapped him in his embrace. The room was silent, and only the slow and steady hush of their breathing can be heard. The night was colder than the usual, but with Daehwi in his arms, Jinyoung never felt warmer, never felt fuller and he realized that this is what he was living for.

-

“Oh my god,”

Jinyoung woke up to a loud thump, followed by an exasperated gasp coming from the wooden floor. Sitting up immediately and completely ignoring the dizziness that came with doing so, Jinyoung saw Daehwi, his bird’s nest of a hair sticking out at all directions, staring wide eyed at him.

“W-what are you—“ and it’s as if a lightbulb appeared in his head that after a few lull minutes, Daehwi’s face brightened red before he covered it with his hands. “Jinyoung-hyung, I’m so, so, sorry for last night. Oh my God, what the hell was I thinking!”

Jinyoung chuckled, pulling Daehwi back to the bed. Removing the boy’s hands from his face, Jinyoung smiled at Daehwi. “I’ll only forgive you if you answer my question truthfully.”

“W-what is it?”

“The things you said last night, do you remember everything?” Although still apprehensive, Daehwi nodded. “And is everything true?” Biting his lower lip, Daehwi stared at him in the eyes before muttering out a soft, “Yes.”

“Then let me reply to you.” Jinyoung took Daehwi’s hands and kissed his knuckles. “I love you, Lee Daehwi, now, probably even in the past, and for sure in the future.” He confessed. “I’m sorry if it took me this long to realize everything, but what I said back in the library were all true. You make me feel all sorts of things. You make me worried, you make me sad, you make me excited, you make me calm, you make me feel contented but most of all, you make me feel alive again. You’re the reason why I’m able to accept what happened to my family, to move on and forgive myself. I tried to distance myself from you, but how can I when you’re my reason for living?” Jinyoung smiled as he spoke. “You’re my anchor, the one who grounds me back to the reality that no matter what I do, I can’t change the past anymore and life keeps on moving forward. You keep reminding me that life is precious, that I shouldn’t waste myself in the ghost of the past and should make the best out of what’s in the present and the future.”

Breathing heavily, Jinyoung continued. “So I won’t run away from my feelings any longer. I still can’t remember everything, of what happened to us for the past two years, and I don’t really understand why you and Jihoon keep on talking about soulmates, but I realized that it doesn’t matter. We have our lifetime to make up for what memories and moments that I lost.” He then bit his lip as he looked at Daehwi anxiously. “That is… if it’s okay with you—“

Fast as the first bloom of spring, Daehwi tackled Jinyoung into a tight hug. “I wouldn’t want anything but this. I wouldn’t want anything but you and us.” Daehwi whispered. Pulling away from Jinyoung and kneeling down to reach his sitting eye level, Daehwi reached for his face and held it gently with both hands. “I love you, Jinyoung. Always.”

The two of them smiled as the once lost memories, emotions, and feelings were reconnected. No more words were said as they seal their promises with a kiss that will be ingrained in their hearts forever. Jinyoung has yet to remember, and a lot of things were still out of place, but he believed that the feelings and emotions they shared never really went missing and were still somewhere in the furthest depths of his heart.

He’s not sure when everything will return. Heck, he’s not sure of what’s in store for him and Daehwi in the future.

But only one thing is for sure and Jinyoung outright believed in it.

_The heart does not forget what the mind does._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long shot but we've made it!  
> Thank you to all the lovelies who even spared time to read this.  
> I'll be doing a 2park fic next so I hope we'll all see each other again soon.

**Author's Note:**

> ALL CHAPTERS ARE UNBETAED!  
> English is not my first language so you will most likely see a lot of tense and grammar mistakes.  
> Please forgive me for those.  
> If you liked this story, thank you!  
> If you don't, it's fine ^^;;
> 
> Rant and shout at me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/MeongJinHwi)  
> 


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